Where is the line?

I'm having a serious crisis of belief. I want homeschooling to be a good experience for my kids. I want us to have fun learning new things together. I want them to be able to explore their own interests. I want to make learning come alive for them. On the other hand I want my children to learn self control and self discipline. I want them to understand that sometimes we have to do the hard things before the fun things.
My oldest tends to make everything take longer and look harder. I don't really understand this, but I do know its hindering her experience. She will take all day to complete her work and then have at least one hour of corrections. Here is a sample of what we do:



Math: Lesson, timed fact sheet, worksheet (usually only one side)
Grammer: Lesson, about 10-20 questions to cover material learned and review
Spelling: Pretest, discuss and copy rule, first worksheet. The next day we finish the worksheet and take the test.
Handwriting: Day one: book worksheet, Day two practice sheet and final copy

I don't think this should take all day long. I teach the math and grammer lesson and go over the spelling lesson and then she takes off on her own. We sometimes do Latin together in the morning. I am trying to establish a Bible lesson a little better as well.
I guess what I really need to do is get to a place where I can show her what she is missing. Make sure there is "free" time in the afternoon where the kids who finish their work can explore their own interests.
Right now we have taken away her extra curricular activities like dance and piano. We want her to understand that sometimes we have to do stuff we dont like to do in order to do things we want to do.
We need to work more on "life" skills as well. I'm going to order a couple of home economics books. Maybe I will just start these with the younger girls while she does school work.
It's just hard to know what to do. Some would say I need to meet her where she is at, but its not that she cant do the work she has flat told me she just does not want to. Some would say I am traumatizing her by not letting her do the extra stuff. My instincts tell me that this is a battle with my strong willed child.
I could tell you horror stories of the attitude problems we have had lately. She is slowly coming out of those only by prayer and sheer force of will on our part. I think school is just one more battle we have to fight with (and for) her.
I want her educational experience to be fun and rewarding and I think one day it will be. She has to be willing to work with us though. We have to prepare her to be able to function in the world one day. We have to prepare her to be able to hear the call of God and be obedient to Him. (Another blog post on what we are all learning in that area soon.)
Well those are just some thoughts roaming around in my head as I look at my oldest still stubbornly sitting at the table doing only the minimum. Dinner will be ready soon, then it's Bible and bed and start the next day. I wonder how many days she will have to sit at the table all day long.

Be Blessed!