Sunday, February 27, 2005


Its been a good week. I am sitting here waiting for hubby to get home from a men's retreat he went to this weekend. Oh how I miss him. This is only the second time in 4 years of marriage that we have been apart overnight. I checked Mary Poppins the movie out from the library last night and after dinner out with a friend the children and I watched part of it. We were up late watching it and the children took a 3 hour nap today. We were up around 8:30 to go have breakfast with a couple of other ladies from church whose husbands were at the retreat.
An interesting remark was made by a woman I know today. She mentioned that since the preacher has been preaching about men being the head of the family that her husband who has not taken a leader role in the past all of a sudden wants to exert control. She is not comfortable with this and resents the way he is trying to "yank" the control from her. I can see where she is coming from. Submission is not easy and it was such a casual conversation and the subject was changed quickly afterwards so I did not get to give my submission lecture. (Drat!) :O) I was thinking about loaning her my copy of Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie O Martin. This book helped me a lot to stop trying to change my husband and ask the Lord instead to work on me.
I have been in 6 churches in my life. In everyone of them I have gone through rough times with the congregation. Although I dont remember much about the first two I remember greatly the third one. I was in fifth grade when the Pastor left. My family soon followed along with many other families. I went to the next church til I was a Senior in highschool. Then my whole world fell apart when the Preacher at that church informed his wife he did not love her anymore and walked out on her and thier young son. I was devestated as I was best friends with his neice and was a part of this family. I started going to another church and was accused of leaving for all sorts of reasons by "friends" from the other church. It was not pretty and I determined at this new church I was going to sit in my little pew every Sunday with my best friend and a few other friends and not get involved in the church or with the people. HAHA! Little did I know if you arent going to serve the Lord He is not going to bless you! Lesson learned. I became involved in that church and once again formed a relationship with the Preacher and his family .There were some problems at this church but we survived, lost some members but hey the church kept churning out the Gospel and the Preacher stood strong. I left that church about a year or so after we got married. Dh and I wanted a church that was ours and plus we wanted one a little closer to our new house. I still love and respect that Preacher and his wife. At my church now we do things a little different. We have a praise band and powerpoint and something called LIFE groups. Our LIFE groups are based on Acts 2:46 and 47 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. We have three groups that meet during the week together and go over the Preacher's sermon from the week before. We fellowship together and take care of each other. We are forming lasting bonds with these people and also using this as opportunity to bring our lost neighbors in since we rotate houses. I love this.
Why do people have such thin skin? My feelings have been hurt numerous times, sometimes by the same person but I chose to go on with my life. I wish we in the body would realize that it is up to us to show maturity. We cant always count on it from the other guy (or gal). It would also help to remember that we wont be held accountable for the what they say to us or how they behave towards us but we will be held accountable for how we act and what we say.
I have sat broken hearted as the preachers that I know and love were torn down by people, I have closed my eyes and prayed for everything to be over in business meetings where people (supposed brothers and sisters in Christ) called each other out to the parking lot. I still tense when I hear the words business meeting. Do you believe I actually went to a church one time that argued over whether to have a program to help some homeless families??? How sick is it that these people were ready to leave the church and string the Pastor up because he supported this program? Im happy to say though through all these trials and tribulations I have grown so much in my walk with God. I am finally at a point in my life where I realize that the Pastor is chosen by God and that I have no authority over him. I also realize that in a church there are sometimes people there planted by Satan to undermine the Holy Spirit. Spiritual warfare has become a real thing to me.
I guess in this sense God has worked all things together for the good because I would still be immature in this area had I not had my heart broken so many times.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

A Different Look

Disclaimer: Please excuse the misspelled words. I cant get the spell checker to work right and I am tired of trying.... :O)
Last night was sewing class and....... drum roll please..... I finished my pillow. Prince Charming is going to help me post a picture later. Now we are working on a pair of pants. Hopefully it wont take as long as the pillow because there is only one more class. We cut out the pattern and material last night. My mom and I decided to make a pair of matching pants for my little girls. They are cute little flannel bottoms with a white background and blue flowers. Very girly pajama pants.
We have a great prospect on a van. My brother works as a mechanic for a taxi cab company here in town and says he can get us a fairly decent van for about $500. He even said they would paint it so I would not have to drive around town with an orange and white van! :O) He says its an older van and has many miles on it. Thats ok because in two years we will have enough money for my 15 passenger van!
I got news today that two more friends are expecting. Im so happy for these people. One friend this is her first baby and the other this is her second. So now I have two ladies at church expecting, two online friends expecting, and two other friends expecting. Thats 6 people. I am happy but it is so bittersweet. I wish with everything that I could announce that I am expecting. Im so fearful that I will never get that opportunity. We started going to a fertility doctor in November. It is a long road but we pray daily for the Lord's blessing.
The other night we were over at my mothers house and her neighbor stopped by. I was in my rare pair of jeans and she commented that she did not think she'd ever seen me in pants before. I jokingly said it was because we were half Amish. The truth is I love wearing dresses and skirts. People treat you different. For the most part it causes men to show respect and women to smile more. I think it reminds me to act more lady like. My daughters (3 and 4) also enjoy dresses. When I go into thier room in the mornings I sometimes give them the choice of dress or pants. I have yet to hear pants. It makes me wonder if most little girls relish femininty until the world snatches it away from them. A few of my friends little girls have been insisting on dresses lately also.
I am trying very hard to be in the world but not of it. I believe as a Christian I need to be different in everything. I started dressing in skirts and dresses after discovering a verse in Dueteronomy.
Dueteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
I had a discussion with a very close friend one time that argued that men and women in Bible times all wore robes. I read somewhere and cant remember where that men actually wore britches under thier robes hence the reference to, "girding up your loins" seen a few times. Apparently this meant they took the hem of thier robe up and tied it up so they could do a task. I dont know how accurate that is because Im just going from memory of what the article said AND I cant seem to find the article on my computer.
But my side of the argument is, did God not know what our clothing would be like today? Because this passage was written in Bible times it does not pertain to us? Well there go the 10 commandments.
I dont "preach" dresses and skirts only. Occasionally as seen above I wear pants. Its not a salvation issue so if a woman wears pants I dont care. I someone asks me why I wear dresses I usually tell them that I believe God has called me to dress more femininly and the my husband likes it.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Will you see Jesus?

Today we got the unfortunate news that a man my mother used to work with passed away. I remember his friendly smile and the way he took right to my little boy. We went to lunch with my mother one day at a popular steakhouse that has "stuffed" animals on the walls. You know real ones. Well this man spent most of lunch toting my little boy around letting him touch the animals. He was such a good man. But alas we mourn as those who have no hope. He is not looking at Jesus right now. That is so hard for me to fathom. I know it happens more often then we like but it does happen and I am having problems wrapping my mind around it. I know my mom witnessed to him more than once. But he chose to reject the one Way, relying instead on his goodness. I thought tonight I would share some verses telling us how to know that when we die we will see Jesus.
Romans 3:10 tells us that, "There is none righteous no not one."
Romans 3:23 tells us that, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
Romans 6:23a tells us that, "the wages of sin is death..."
Hmm... this looks pretty gloomy. Lets see what else the Bible says.
Romans 5:8 gives us a breath of fresh air telling us, "But God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us."
So above we see that everyone is a sinner but here we see that while we were sinners Christ died for us as a act of love from God.
Of course John 3:16 reminds us, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. "
We even see in Matthew 18:14 that, "Even so it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."
God does not want us to die and go to hell. That was never His intention.
But how do we receive this love of Jesus?
Romans 6:23b tells us, "but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Thats right it is a gift and how do we receive a gift? We simply reach out our hand and take it.
Romans 10:9 spells it out for us, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in thy heart that God hath raised Him from the dead thou shalt be saved."
When I taught VBS this past summer we had a very simplistic way for the children to share Jesus with their friends.
ABC: Admit you are a sinner, Believe that Jesus is Gods only Son, Confess Him as your Savior and Lord.
We used many of the above verses to go with this but I really like the way it is simple and easy to remember.
I pray that I never have to mourn as one who has no hope again. I pray that from here on out everyone I come in contact with will accept this free gift.
Its hard because now a days there are so many "good" philosophies/theories on heaven and how to get there. Folks the Bible is clear!
John 14:6 tells us that"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
We cant get to heaven without Jesus. There is no other way. Not our works or goodness.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith and that not of yourselves it is a gift of God not of works lest any man should boast.
Romans 3:10 There is none righteous no not one.
We will never be "good enough" for heaven. Only Jesus who was perfect is good enough for heaven. He died on the cross and took our sins on Himself so that we could be considered "good enough" for heaven. Through His death we were cleansed.
I pray if you have any doubts as to whether you are truly a child of the King that you will go through the ABCs and reassure yourself or maybe make a new covenant with God.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

"Radical" parenting

Wow what a weekend. We spent Friday and Saturday with my in laws and then Sunday with my granny and family. I love being with family. The children of course will have to be taken down a few notches because of all the attention and treats they received this weekend. But I sure don't begrudge them the wonderful love and affection they all received. It was wonderful.
Im such a radical parent to these people. Like I don't let my children watch a lot of television, yet every time I turned around someone had the television on for the children. We also worship as a family which means ALL the children come into "BIG" church with daddy and I. (Even the 22 month old) We practice sitting still and quiet at home by having an evening Bible reading together as a family where they all have to sit still and be quiet. As a result on Sunday morning other than some antsiness and the occasional murmur of protest from the 22 month old they act beautifully. And one other thing I can not abide is children running around during meals. In our house the rule is once you leave the table you are done. None of this running back to pick at the food on your plate. So my children sit and finish their food and then ask to get down from the table.
Im not a perfect parent by any means BUT I do want so much for my children to be respectful, obedient and self controlled. I believe these are essential to a strong Christian walk as they get older. I have been called cruel because I make my children sit and listen to preaching. I have been told they get nothing out of it. But this verse is one my husband and I claim. Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. I believe that even if my children are not "understanding" the words of the preacher right now that it is being written on their little hearts and will come back to them one day. As I mentioned before I was saved at a young age and I believe my job right now is to make sure their little hearts are ready for this commitment one day soon.
I love having all my littles in church. My heart is so full as I sit and look down the row at them all sitting quietly with their little Bibles open on their laps. Its also nice to occasionally be able to refer back to something the preacher said during the week while talking to my children.
I have nothing against Children's church or the nursery but my family has decided this is best for us. We have searched the scriptures and found no verses supporting the separation of families in worship. We have found a few verses that shows everyone including children coming together to hear from God.
Joshua 8:35 There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.
Matthew 18:1 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Mark 10:13 And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.
14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
15 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
16 And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.
And of course lets not forget young Timothy who learned about the scriptures at the feet of his mother and grandmother.
Looking at these verses and some others we discerned that there were always children around when Jesus preached. Why should our children not be with us as we learn from the Father's word?

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Who am I and why do I blog???

Wow what a busy few days I have had. I spent the weekend getting Prince Charming's Valentines day present ready. I put our family vision on a canvas for him. It says "Father grant my request that the number of descendants I have in heaven will equal the number I have on earth." We came up with this vision one night while talking about the verse, Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. I am so excited to be on this journey with that man of mine. By the way this is what I was buying at Joanne's the other day.
Last night was sewing class. We are finishing up our pillows. I started my ruffle. To do the ruffle you have to sew two loose hems and then pull them so that the material gathers. Hmm.... not to sure about this. Today as the girls and I watched Sara: Plain and Tall I tried to work on pulling the hem out and discovered that I missed a WHOLE section sewing the hems. Sigh... so now I have to rip some of the seam out with my handy dandy seam ripper and redo that section. I will conquer this pillow!
Here is something I noticed since children have come into my life. God is still working on me. Of course He has always been working on me but see since the children have come it seems I notice it a lot more. I think its because I want to badly to raise them for the glory of God that when I mess up or there is an area in my life that is sinful I really really notice it. I seem to be answering to God for more than I used to. Just scroll down through my previous blog posts and you will see what I am talking about. This is me being real. Im trying to share with you all some of the trials I have been or am going through in hope that maybe you can skip that particular trial. I love to read stuff from other Christian women. Do you know what I do with the knowledge I glean from these women? STORE IT! PRACTICE IT! PASS IT ON! Oh how grateful I am for the many internet sights devoted to Christian women. Sometimes I feel like I am just babbling, but believe me when I say Im really trying to make a point. :O)
Titus 2:4-5 says That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. I believe it is speaking to older women physically and spiritually. I am farther along in my spiritual journey than some women (and lagging way behind many many more) so I believe that I need to share some of the wisdom God has given me.
Here is my testimony. I figure I better give some background on myself. . I was born in December 1978. I am adopted and was taken home to be with my adopted parents when I was 4 days old. The very first Sunday I was alive I was at church. So goes the story of my life. My very loving, devoted parents made sure I spent more time at church than anywhere else. I had two godly set of grandparents to pray, pray, pray over me. My dad's dad was a Southern Baptist preacher from Alabama and my mom's dad was an ordained deacon. I was six years old when I asked Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of my life. I dont remember much of it. Of course for this reason I have always had doubts about my salvation. I cant tell you the number of times I have quoted Romans 10:9 (that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved) to myself.
My husband (who was saved in his early twenties) and I have had many discussions on this and here is the conclusion I came to. Those of us saved at a young age dont really understand what we were saved from, so it makes it harder for us to understand salvation. I have had many friends who were Christians "thier whole lives" (meaning they were saved young and grew up in church) believe me when I tell you this group is the one most guilty of taking our salvation for granted.
You see, I know that I am saved. In my head everything is right, but in my heart sometimes I let the great deciever shed some doubt. My sweet husband does not understand this doubt because he remembers the time right after he was saved. The tears at the awesome love of God, the total saturation of scripture, and finding God in everything. I dont remember anything about right after I got saved. I remember being baptized but I dont remember the "feelings". I work hard NOW at having a close relationship with God.
I know I was saved because I saw God and still see Him doing an awesome work in my life from the tender age of six. I know I am saved because I desire to serve God and to walk with Him.
I would never want to have waited until I was "older" to get saved. I believe that I was saved from many evils of this world because I was God's child. My husband has shared with me his feelings after getting saved. How he felt like he'd missed out on some great stuff. How he felt betrayed and lied to by his "church" because they never told him about this personal relationship he could have with God. I would not want to have missed out on anything God has brought to my life because I am His child. I pray that my own children will recieve salvation at an early age. I also pray that there will be some way for me to teach them about what a wonderful gift salvation truly is and that they have such a strong faith that they dont doubt. But if they do I will listen and know exactly what they are speaking of.

Friday, February 11, 2005


So a new Joanne's Fabric store opened on the other side of town today so of course I loaded the children up and headed right over. And of course we walked up and down every isle. Now I did have a purpose in being there... I cant tell you what it is until Monday when I give Prince Charming his Valentines day present. But just being there was such a rush for me. All the crafty stuff and my own little girls getting so excited over all the neat stuff. Im really looking forward to learning home arts and teaching them to my girls. I went to my moms house the other day so we could practice our sewing together and I had the little girls sit and watch us because I think they will learn a lot just by being close by.
Today as I was driving along (to Joanne's) I heard a song on the radio. I don't know the name of the song or who sings it but one line really caught my attention. "Everybody wants someone else's everything." I don't know what made me grab that line but suddenly a million thoughts rushed through my mind. The main theme of those thoughts? Contentment. This is such an area in my life that I struggle with. I wanted a house. I wanted a new house. Now I wonder what it would be like to live in an older home, a "fixer-upper".
Sometimes I like living in Florida, sometimes I wish I could live somewhere that has seasons. You see???? Prince Charming (whose really old) thinks maybe its just because Im so young. I have not "experienced" enough of life. Anyways, Im straying from my original idea here. I have struggled with contentment. And today listening to that song made me really think about all I have that I don't deserve. Starting with, my salvation. I don't deserve to be saved from hell. I don't deserve to have an abundant life but oh, God has allowed me to have both of those things. I also had to be thankful that I have a working car and three children, although, I really really want a van and four (five) children.
This is not the first time I have had a "tug" from God on the contentment subject. I remember not long after I got married reading this verse in the Bible Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. OOOPPPPPS! How have I been a Christian for 20 years and missed this verse? I believe my heart was not ready to hear it yet. But you see. Paul said that we must learn (or at least that he learned) to be content no matter what.
That is my goal as I go about the everyday chores involved with being a wife and mother. As I gaze longingly at that minivan in traffic beside me. As I send off a check for our mortgage and long for a smaller house with a smaller mortgage. What will I do to practice contentment? Thank God that I have the opportunity to serve Him and my family while I am washing the dishes or folding clothes or wiping runny noses. Thank God that I have a car to jet off to the new fabric store in. Thank God that I have a house and that it is large enough to be a home to three children, three cats, and hubby and me with room for at least two more children (maybe more!).
I have noticed that I do seem more content as of late. I seem to be happier with the circumstances in my life. But I must always be on guard because the enemy is like a roaring lion seeking to devour me. (1 Peter 5:8)

Wednesday, February 9, 2005


Last night was my 4th week of sewing class. We are working on pillows. I decided to make a pillow for 4 year old K's birthday bedroom makeover. I got some pink, purple, and green plaid like pattern with the pink being the dominant color. And purple gingham for the ruffle. I think it is going to be really cute and shabby country looking... :) Her comforter is going to be purple gingham and so will her curtains. My mom is making a wall hanging that is actually kinda Eastery but it has all the right colors in it (purple, pink and green). It also has all these praises to the Lord on it. "He is risen", "Lamb of God" and a few others that I cant remember off the top of my head. Im really excited about her room. Of course I have to make three pillows and three comforters and three of all the other stuff I want to make for her bed because she shares/will be sharing the room with both of her sisters.
Have you ever heard of I love this place! I get tons of emails everyday with people giving away stuff. If I see something I would like to have I email that person and they decide who gets it. Sometimes I get what I ask for sometimes not. I was really disappointed because someone was giving away Disney 5 day parkhopper passes and DH and I have really been wanting to take the children. I even played my fosterparent card which I try not to do, but alas there was a better home for the tickets and I did not get them. BUT I did get a blue and white striped comfy couch! WooHoo! It is dirty and needs a good cleaning but Im excited to have it.
But where will this new couch go? You may wonder. Well since we dont have cable and dont watch a lot of television we have put the TV, VCR, DVD in the closet in our playroom. I can just close the doors and its out of sight but alas Prince Charming and I like to watch some shows and we love movies so its been kind of hard laying on the floor to watch the TV now we have a couch we can relax on! YEAH! Plus it will be fun to go in there with a book and lay on the couch while the kids play. Now I just have to figure out how to get it clean......
I made real mashed potatoes tonight but I did not have any milk... whats a girl to do??? For the liquid I used a little bit of chicken broth and for the creaminess I used about 1tblsp of cream cheese and 1 tblsp of sour cream. I mixed it all together in my wonderful kitchen aid stand mixer and the troops loved it!
I have been meditating on a verse lately.
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
I have a serious problem with "idleness". I have asked and am asking the Lord every day to help me break free of this sin.
When I did a word search on our CD Rom of the Bible for Idleness here is another verse I found.
Ecclesiastes 10:18 By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.
My idleness makes my house a disaster. It puts everyone in a bad mood and it is so overwhelming. Hubby comes home and the kitchen table is piled high with junk, the floor is sticky, the living room is cluttered and he cant even get into our bedroom. Then I get mad when he suggests maybe I should find a job. What do I expect? He sure doesnt see that I have accomplished anything at home on days like that.
I believe that women are to be keepers at home as outlined in Titus 2:5, but what my husband sees when he comes home sometimes is a "sleeper at home". The Lord has really dealt with me in this area lately and I am praising Him for it. But, see this week while I was sick I seriously fell off the bandwagon. The kitchen was a mess and the living room looked terrible. I finally sat up today and said enough and began work in the kitchen. I cleaned off all the counters and the stove. Did dishes. Swept and mopped and cooked a very nice dinner. When hubby came home he was thrilled. The rest of the house needs to catch up and thats what I will be doing the next few days but at least I can go to bed tonight with peacefulness because today was not an idle day. And hey Im even starting to feel better!

Monday, February 7, 2005

Sick Day

Why is it when mom is sick the whole house falls apart? When dad is sick some things dont get done. When the kids are sick its a little more noticable. BUT when mom is sick the house is a wreck, the children have decided that on this day they will make sure to break all the rules, and dinner ends up being cold left over pizza. I dont care what anyone says I know for a fact, "When mamma aint happy aint nobody happy!"
I spent today being sick. This means I have been at war all day with my children, the dishes have piled up in the sink, a load of clothes sits in the living room waiting to be folded and hubby came home to find me groaning over the kitchen counter about dinner. Prince Charming that he is he ushered me into the bedroom, heated up some left overs for the children and himself (being sick is my miracle weight loss pill Im just not hungry), and generally took over mommy duties. He is so special.
But back to mom's attitude. I yell at my children a lot but the Bible tells me I am to have a "meek and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4) I am working hard on having a peaceful home. Which means no yelling. On days when I dont yell the house is nicer, more peaceful but on days like today when I yelled ALL the TIME it was a very disorganized home with bad attitudes all around. My children acted up more today... is it because I was sick or because I was in a bad mood? Im willing to bet it was the latter. Maybe the things they did today were not as bad as I thought. Generally they are great children. But something I forget sometimes is they still need lots of training. (Proverbs 22:15a) I have to have a good attitude when I am training them if I dont it will become war much like what happened today. For instance my 4 year old and 3 year old share a room. When I went in to get them up from thier nap the room was a disaster and there was stuff pulled off shelves that I have asked them not to take down. I started yelling and telling them they had 5 minutes to pick up thier room and that there was no excuse for their room to EVER look that way! What did I get from this? Well the girls did pick up all the stuff but all I got was a sore throat, two sad dejected little girls, and a heavy heart. How could I have handled this differently? I could have explained to them that they did wrong by pulling everything down and making their room messy. I could have helped clean up and talked to them about why a nice, clean room is more peaceful and relaxing. I did not have to yell.
I did not have a peaceful, relaxing home today and I really could have used it because you need all the peace you can get when you are sick.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

I am a wife and a mother!

I am a wife to a wonderful godly man. We met on the internet at about 6 years ago next month. We have been married for four years. He is my Mr. Steady and I love him for it. About two and a half years ago I decided I wanted to be a foster parent. He grinned and agreed. My Mr. Steady. We worked on paperwork and classes and homestudies for about 4 months and we were ready to go. Unfortunatly due to high turnover at the agency, lost paperwork, privitization, and just plain incompetance it took us a year and a half to get licensed. The day after we got licensed we got a little boy. He was 13 months old when we got him, he is now 22 months old. He has blond hair and blue eyes and because of confidentiality I will have to call him A on the blog. He is so smart and happy and friendly. We could not have asked for a better child. We almost got to adopt him but things happen and now his parents are working on their case plan. They still have about 6 months - a year to go so you never know what will happen. We might still get to adopt him. Its all in God's hands. In September of 2004 we got two little girls. They were sisters, 1 and 2. The one year old had little blond curls and was always smiling and wanting to be held. She was an angel. The 2 year old had brown hair and the most amazing blue eyes. She was so very very smart it was amazing. They went to live with their grandparents in October. The day they left I called placement and said I needed them to fill the two beds that were just vacated. Sure enough I got a phone call for three little girls. I could only take two so they brought me the younger two. K is 4 almost 5 and has blond hair (almost frosted looking the kind people pay good money for) she is so incredibly beautiful. T is 3 years old and has light brown hair and blue eyes and a smile that would knock you down. She is so cute! Their sister K is 7 almost 8 and has brown hair and dark brown eyes. She is so pretty. She lives in a different foster home right now because we dont have room in our car for her. We are praying daily for a minivan. The girls will probably go up for adoption sometime this year we so would like to adopt them but have not even mentioned it because we have not been able to move the older girl over yet. They will have to be adopted together. I would not have it any other way.
I tell you all that because I want you to know how happy I am. Since I was 4 years old I always knew I wanted a lot of children. I think when I was 11 I decided 10 would be a good number. I always knew I wanted to marry my prince charming and on December 15, 2000 I did. I desperately want a baby of my own to hold but God has not blessed us there yet. He has however given me many children and I believe the promise of many more.
I love being a wife and mommy but I always have to remember that first I am a child of God.
You see my God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5) He wants me to put NOTHING ahead of Him. I have to remember that as I rush around in the morning forgetting prayer and Bible reading. My husband can not come before God and neither can my precious precious children.
Another thing I need to remember, and I learned this before I even got married, my husband is number 2! Not my children. Not my friends. Not my church. Not my family. And most assuredly not myself. I heeded the teaching of older wiser women in the Lord who chastened me to always put my husband before my children. You see one day your children will be grown and gone and you will still be looking across the dinner table at the man you married. Don't let that man be a stranger. The Bible tells us that woman was made for her husband (1 Corinthians 11:9). Not for her children. Please dont neglect your children. God does not want that either. Titus 2:4 tells us we are to love our children. But neither should you neglect your husband for your children. Im trying to think of an example and I asked Prince Charming, "What is something I do to make you feel like you are a higher priority than the children?" His response, "Everything you do." Any doubt why I love this man?? :) Ok here is a small one. Say your child asks to have spaghetti for dinner and hubby asks for meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and fresh baked bread. You would rather cook one pot spaghetti! Come on admit it...... ;) But you should cook the BIG meal hubby wants. Its just the right thing to do. But do have spaghetti one night soon for your child.
My third priority is my children. Those three little angels who sometimes try every bit of patience I have. Last week in particular seemed to be a trying week. Because we are foster parents we have people in and out of our house all the time to see the children. The house was a wreck, the baby was sick, and I was on the phone with the girl's Guardians Ad Litem ( two of the sweetest people in the world) who wanted to come out and visit. So K and I ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get at least the living room and the foyer looking decent. We did and I even had time to sit down and breathe before they came. Everything went great. The baby and I had many issues this past week though. He was sick and very whiny and wanted to be held. Now here is something about me that a lot of people might not know, when we take those spiritual gifts tests I always come in lowest on M-E-R-C-Y. My little guy obviously did not know that. For his safety and my sanity he spent a lot of time sleeping while he was sick... :) Im not a completly awful mommy I did hold him a lot but when I just could not take it anymore he ended up in bed where he promptly went to sleep. So it was all good. I believe that being a mommy is a special calling. I always feel like I am somehow missing something and striving to be a better mother. I know that I know that I know that I want my little ones to have a spiritual foundation and I strive every day to bring that about. They are fascinated with God and Jesus and enjoy just sitting down and flipping through their Bibles. The girls enjoy looking at the Bible so much they each got their very own for Christmas. We have nightly Bible reading and prayer as a family and the girls are in the Cubbies program with AWANA and we go over the Bible stories in thier Cubby books every morning. I have also found a Protestant catechism that I want to start the 4 year old girl and possible my three year old girl on. I also do the majority of the discipline since I am home all day with them. Prince Charming has delegated this duty to me and I strive to do a good job so that he can always trust in me. (Proverbs 31:11) I have a verse printed on my heart and when I look at my children I whisper this verse to myself. 3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. This is what I desire for my children. That they walk in truth.
Well that is a little about me and my family. I hope that you will tell me about your families and what you are doing. I am always looking for wisdom for my role as a wife and a mother

Thursday, February 3, 2005


This was supposed to be my Feb 2 blog but I forgot to post... so here it is now! :)

So... last night was my sewing class. We are on week 3 (wow seems like a lot longer!) and we finished up these little stuffed ????? (someone mistakenly called them bears but I dont see it) and started our pillows. Well we started measuring and cutting the fabric for our pillows. I am taking a sewing class with my mom for many reasons. The top one being although I went to a great college preparatory highschool they forgot to teach us how to sew so that our daughters would not look like 4 year old tramps. If you know not what I speak of you obviously have not tried to find your very tall 4 year old clothes. I was embarassed at the selection and dont get me started on the WalMart Mary Kate and Ashley line UNBELIEVABLE! So I am on a journey to learn to sew. I have had my sewing machine for over a year now and I believe that instead of being in the way it should be useful. Im happy to report that after three classes I can SEW A STRAIGHT LINE! WooHoo! I can not however measure and cut fabric..... tonight I was trying to measure and cut a 17" x 17" square and no matter what I did I kept cutting it 17" x 16" or 16" x 16". *Sigh* The instructer ended up measuring my poor little squares before I could run out of fabric. So much for that college prep school!
I am reading a book right now called Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. I have been really enjoying it but last night I ran across a chapter that disturbs me a little. It is a chapter on submission. I know I know I just gave my soap box speech on submission yesterday BUT I was not expecting this chapter so now I must address it once again. Mrs. Peace says that women are to be submissive in everything as outlined in Eph. 5 BUT she also adds the dreaded clause.... unless he asks you to sin. Im a little torn here but two of the examples that she used I know I dont agree with. One is if your husband tells you not to go to church... well the Bible says, "forsake not the assembling of yourselves with others." (Heb 10:25) Yes dear lady but it also tells us to submit to our husbands in everything and in 1 Peter 3 it tells us if our husband is an unbeliever you should keep silent....... let me touch on the other "sin" I dont agree with. If the husband forbids you to tell your children about God.... she says (and the Bible says) "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Here, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching... " (Proverbs 1:7-8) I say again submit in everything and be silent. Now, I just had this argument with my mom so Im ready! Do I think that you should just say, "Well ok I guess thats that. Might as well start living like the world because hubby wants me to have nothing to do with church?" Nooooooooo I do believe however that this may be something you have to concede to if only for a short while. Why do I say a short while? Well my dear sister I believe when your husband tells you not to go to church that you should RESPECTFULLY tell him how much you enjoy church and that you feel it is your duty as a Christian to attend if he still says no then nod your head put on a smile and then HIT YOUR KNEES! Pour your heart out to Father. He will listen and comfort you. I honestly believe that you will be back in church in no time. And because of your obedience to God's word concerning your husband that sweet man you married MAY be sitting right beside you.
Now I must say I dont know what its like to have an unbelieving husband. (Only by the grace of God because I sure dated a number of unbelievers) I have read the scriptures though and think it says clearly that we obey no matter what. I was talking to my husband about this last night though. What if (VERY REMOTE CHANCE OF THIS!) your husband wants you to kill someone? I have really thought about this... (my husband would not ask me to kill anyone so dont worry! :) ) but come on what would I do???? I think that I would begin praying and fasting because my God can do ANYTHING and HE will make it so I dont have to murder anyone. That much I know.
Lastly if you are in an abusive relationship I dont think you should stay there and be abused. But I do think you should seek help for your husband (and yourself).
*Sigh* I pray I have said everything right. It is such a touchy subject but one that God has so clearly laid on my heart. I learn new things every day about Biblical submission to my husband. I just cant wait to share them with everyone!
By the way I really do like the book by Martha Peace just not this chapter. I just cant wrap my mind around..... "obedient in everything BUT....." its just not in the Bible.