Friday, March 28, 2008

Courtship An Alternative Part Two

"Lets Just Be Friends"

In 1 Timothy 5:2 we see Paul tell Timothy to treat all women as sisters. Mr. Andrews outlines that bit more for us in his book The Family: God's Weapon for Victory. He says, "Anything that would not be done with a sister, that encourages the development of a romantic relationship, is off limits in our new model. This would obviously include, holding hands, kissing, etc.." I personally think this is a great guideline. It gives me something tangible to tell my boys and girls about their relationships with people of the opposite sex.

Mr. Andrews also gives a good contrast of friendships vs. relationships. "Romantic relationships are exclusive, turned inward, with the focus on each other. Friendships are inclusive, turned outward, with the focus on friends, activities, and ideas of mutual interests." Friends are sometimes alone together. Brothers and sisters are sometimes alone together. But as Mr. Andrews points out, "The focus must be on the mutuality that binds them together, not on their relationship with each other." Basically, maybe your daughter and a boy will play a game of tennis together. They might not be in a group playing this game, but they are not focusing on one another they are focusing on tennis.
One thing dad's have to look out for though is how deep is the friendship. Its very easy for a friendship between a boy and girl to get emotionally deep. Father's must monitor their daughter's friendships with these boys.
"When a young man reaches his twenties, he generally becomes ready to begin to think about marriage. He recognizes the need for a helpmate to share and complete his life." Now, the father has been watching his son. He knows his maturity level. He knows if the son is committed to the family goals and kingdom vision. If the father sees this in his son, he can then encourage his son to call a girl and ask her for a "date". WHOA! You said date. I thought thats what we were trying to avoid. Now, Im going to swerve a little off the road that Mr. Andrews is on for just a minute. In our family, this date is going to look something like this; time spent with our family or his/her family, if his/her family is of the same vision. Time spent in our home or the others home. They could sit on the porch, play a game, share a dessert and coffee. We won't necessarily be in the same room, but could walk in at any time. I do think there is a place for some semi-privacy as a couple gets to know one another.
Mr. Andrews does say that, "The father's role of protector demands that he be abreast of where his sons and daughters are at all times, not only geographically, but also in their relationships, and, if necessary, erect fences that his children cannot cross." This could mean the father takes a boy aside and tells him in no uncertain terms what he expects during this getting to know you period. It is very important that the father make clear his expectations. If he does not want the boy to hold his daughter's hand then that must be made clear. Help the young man to understand that if these expectations are not honored then he will not be allowed to see the girl anymore.
Some will balk at this. Well, your children won't agree to this. No, they won't. Not unless you have instilled in them the long term-vision of a fulfilling fruitful marriage. Not unless you have worked with your children so that they understand the vision of the family and the vision of the kingdom. It's all about capturing their hearts. Its all about becoming one as a family. Thats what my husband and I are trying to do right now with our young children. We are teaching them to trust us. If you teach them when they are young to be obedient and to trust you it will be that much better for you when they are older.
So, do you have a plan for your children? What will a "date" look like for your family?
Tomorrow or Monday I will talk about the actual courtship process.

Be Blessed

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Roasted Chicken

In trying to better follow the Nourishing Traditions lifestyle we have been eating a lot of good food lately.
My all time favorite for the past few weeks was roasted chicken.
It was so good and easy.
Basically I took a chicken. Washed it inside and out. Stuck some Thyme sprigs inside. Rubbed the chicken down with melted butter and garlic. Roasted it on one side for an hour and then the other side for another hour. It was perfect!
We also had steamed cabbage and steamed cauliflower and broccoli. The secret to these yummy treats? Lots of butter.
Everyone ate and enjoyed!
We also noticed that because the chicken was $3.00, the broccoli and cauliflower mix was $1.00, and the cabbage was $2.00 we fed our whole family on $6.00. YAY!
If I ever get another camera I would love to show you some of the foods we are eating. Nourishing Traditions is not nearly as hard as I used to think it would be.

Be Blessed

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Courtship An Alternative Part One

I used to know a family whose son was not allowed to date. In my know it all teenage style I thought that was just absurd. Now in my know nothing parenting style I think its a great idea. I have tried to arrange marriages for all of my kids but people just look at me funny. I have stopped doing that...kind of. Im still on the lookout for great kids for my children to associate with in hopes that maybe...well you get the picture.

On one my new favorite message boards lately we have been talking about Dating Vs. Courtship. Interestingly enough, I was in the courtship chapter of an excellent book I am reading called The Family: God's Weapon for Victory by Robert Andrews. I volunteered to outline his method of courtship, which is one of the best models I have seen so far. Then I remembered... I dont really do well with outlines. *Sigh* So bear with me as I try to get the gist of what Mr. Andrews is saying into written format without copying him to much.
He starts with some examples and verses from the Old and New Testemants. I will not go into that right now as I don't need to be convinced that courtship is the way we will go with our kids. Maybe in another post I will talk some about why we believe courtship is the better alternative and share some of his examples. For now I just want to talk about the actual model of courtship.
The first and most important part of courtship is the father's responsibility. The father must be consistent in his involvement.
His first area of involvement begins with his sons. "A father should realize when his sons are young that he has the awesome task of training them to be godly men with a vision for the Kingdom." Mr. Roberts goes into the whole family dynamic and Kingdom vision in his book. It's definately worth looking into. He goes on to say about sons, 'They should be protected with moral fences until they have adopted the family standards and vision for themselves. " Now here is something I thought was very important. "They are ready to marry when the father knows that his standards and his vision belong to them, and they are mature enough, in his estimation, to take on the responsibilities of a family" Sounds right to me. I have told my boys and girls both that they should not even think about a relationship with someone of the opposite sex until they are old enough and mature enough to marry . Now we have an idea of what that should look like in our sons.
Sons should be taught to protect a girl and treat her like a sister in the Lord until the proper time. They should understand the proper time to capture a young ladies heart is not until he is mature enough and has permission from his father and the girl's father.
As for daughters, the wife will do most of the training as the older woman. She will teach the girl to have a gentle and quiet spirit. To keep the home and care for children. Mr. Andrews says of the father, "He will give oversight by encouraging his wife, and being sure that she is communicating what he desires that his daughters should be learning." He goes on to say that the father's main responsibility with his daughter is protection.
Here is where he says something that made my heart soar. It was so true. "Girls are always eager to give their hearts away. That is the way they were made by God, the way they find fulfillment, but often they do not have the maturity to delay gratification until the proper time."
YES! YES! A thousand times YES! I am a girl. I know lots of girls. Anytime a guy smiles at you or winks or tells you your melt! How many times was I "IN LOVE" before I met my husband. I mean soul shaking, earth shattering, in love! The numbers are limitless. One time I swooned because a guy gave me a hastily written note on Valentine's day that said he was sorry he had a wrestling match and could not spend the day with me. He really wanted to and would call me later. I swooned! Pathetic. How I wish someone had stepped in to protect my heart.
Mr. Andrews understands. "Because she is a relational, emotional, creature-of-the-moment, a girl is easy prey for a boy who is able to communicate with her, romance her, and who attempts to capture her heart. A father's job is to insure that that does not happen. Rather than teach her how to resist a boy's advances, and try to encourage her not to give her heart away, a father should never let her be in a situation where that is a possibility." WOW!
Little girls should be taught when they are young that there daddy will protect them. They need to understand that that means he will protect them even unto making sure she marries a godly man.
Now, that we have talked about the father's responsibilities we are ready for the courtship model.
I will use another post a little later to talk about the friendship-courtship-engagement model that Mr. Andrews outlines for us.
Until then, what are your thoughts on dating? What about a girl who does not have a father to stand in the gap for her?

Be Blessed!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Just one more....

I keep seeing this picture and I really wanted to use it again. So I thought I would post one more thing today. Ya know because I have been so bad at posting lately.
I am praying super duper hard for my empty womb lately. In December I will turn 30. I have started praying that the Lord will let me be pregnant by my 30th birthday. I am asking for all the prayers I can get here. Jonathan will be 3 in January. Thats a long time without a baby. :)
I know it is all in God's timing, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being specific.
One of my favorite women teachers Beth Moore said in one of her Bible studies that we can remind God of times he has done what we are asking in scripture. I have been doing that every morning in my prayer time. I say, "Remember Lord, when Hannah or Rachel or Sarah asked you for a baby and you heard them and gave them a baby? Well, remember me as well Lord. Please!"
God and I talk about a lot of stuff in my morning prayers. Thats where he sometimes tells me to change up my day. Then we talk about how thats going to always does by the way.
A lot of my prayers lately have been, "Change me!" I know I need a change in my life. Sometimes I pray that if I am doing anything to hinder having a baby (health or obedience wise) he will show me. I really think a lot of it is because when my baby comes it will be all in God's glory.
Remember when I first posted about our promised baby? I still feel that way. I hope I am not making a complete fool of myself, but then if I am, so what? I am putting my faith in action. I am telling others about Gideon Nathaniel (thats his name by the way. I thought hubby wanted Nathaniel Gideon but when I explained what I thought God had told me a little better, he said we better use Gideon Nathaniel since thats what God wanted. ;) )
I will praise him with our without my baby. (Ahem... I would rather it be with though, Lord!)
Yesterday a man visited our church with triplets. Is it greedy of me to want triplets? LOL.
Anyway, Im done babbling...just wanted to use that picture and ask you to join us in prayer.


Or, I dont have a camera and I really want to post pics of my babies so I took a walk down memory lane. These are pictures from Easter 2005.
Who is this handsome fella? Adrian. He was almost 2 in this picture. Can you believe he will be 5 in a few weeks?
Kelsie Ann. She had just turned 5 when this picture was taken. She has lost some of that baby fat. She is growing into a beautiful young lady. By the way...she just turned 8. That car behind her, see the four door saturn. It use to be wall to wall car seats when this picture was taken. LOL.
Uh-oh who let baldy in? Well, he was not around Easter 2005 and I sure could not leave him out. So this is an adoption day picture. This is Jonathan David at 3 months old in April of 2006.
Here are Karly and Kelsie at our churches Easter egg hunt that year. Look how young Karly looks! She was almost 8 in that picture. Now she is a real young lady at almost 11.
My sweet little freckle faced boy. This is a terrible picture because its blurry, but I thought he was so cute in his overalls.
Oh my goodness do you not want to eat those chubby cheeks up?! She still has that smile. She is 6 now and not 3. While her cheeks are still chubby they are no where near that chubby and scrumptious. Now they are a bit more dainty and girly. She is still as cute as a little bug.
The girls in all their glory. I remember when I could not get Karly to not make that cheesy smile. Aren't they precious?

Ahh the happiness, the joy, the...never ending picture taking. I think Tamara and Adrian had enough. But come on aren't they the cutest?

This year grandma went out of town right before Easter. She usually does their hair. I have not yet mastered the art of little girl hair. I did half pony tails with ribbon. I thought that was great. Grandma also usually makes sure the boys have cute outfits...This year they got mom's last minute idea of a cute outfit with whatever was in their closet. Probably a good thing I did not have my camera. LOL. I mean my kids don't need cute outfits to be adorable, but you know it's nice. I was the story teller for our kids program so my Easter outfit was a Neon Green t-shirt that says Kid City in big letters. Yeah, I was styling.
Anyways, I hope you all had a great and wonderful Resurrection Day.

Be Blessed!

Change One Monday...on MONDAY!!

Woohoo! Today is Monday and Im posting on.... MONDAY! Im so happy. Things seem to be getting back to normal around here. YAY!

Confession: Im still not taking my medicine like I should. I will say that because DH and I are trying to lower our carbs, my blood sugar has been good. If I was taking my medicine like I should my blood sugar would be great! LOL.
So, on that note. Im going to stick with my taking my medicine challenge. I figure what good does it do to move on if I have not changed this yet? Im still drinking lots of water. Being sick so much the past few weeks I have not gotten up as early as I would like, but I picked that back up today.
Maybe next Monday I can work on something new...:)

Anyone else?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Thats the sound I make every few minutes. I have the flu....AGAIN! What is up? Well, I know my kids are staying fairly healthy because they get kefir smoothies, a dose of fish oil, and a dose of Vitamin C every morning. I do not. Guess I should start, huh?
Anyways, Im enjoying the Change One Monday series and it will be back next Monday.
I might blog again before that, but as of right now, maybe not. Ok? :P

Be Blessed!!

Friday, March 14, 2008


Mrs. Ginger over at Clark Chatter is giving away a $50 shopping spree to Vision Forum. I just took advantage of their 50% off sale and bought some great Christmas/Birthday presents.
For the girls I got them all these cute aprons.
For Karly I got her book 2 in the Elsie Dinsmore series. She really seemed to enjoy it. I also got her a kit to make and sew her own doll clothes. Something she has been very interested in. While I was there I picked up a copy of Raising Maidens of Virtue for 50 % off as well.
For Adrian I got him a cross sword and shield. They are super cool looking. I also got him Little Bear Wheeler's outdoor boy book.
I think Karly will get the doll patterns and a Joanne's gift card (for fabric) and a 18 inch doll for her birthday this year. I will save Elsie Dinsmore and the apron for Christmas.
Adrian will get the sword and shield for his birthday.
I really love the quality of the stuff at Vision Forum. We devour their books and tapes a lot. I think I could definatly find a way to use the $50. :)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Today as I walked past my dining room I smiled. We celebrated my daughter' s eighth birthday yesterday so for dinner I put a tablecloth on the table. We have two big folding tables pushed together. The kids color there so there are crayon marks all over the table. Usually I don't put a cloth on it, just because I don't take the time.

I think that will change now though. I guess it's kind of like your bedroom. You know the bed is made and the room just feels finished. Thats how it was with my dining room today. It felt finished when I walked by.
This could be the start of something beautiful. :)

Be Blessed!

Change One Monday on Tuesday

Ummm... I missed a day. LOL.
Im going to keep my challenge from last week because due to the stomach flu I did not take my very expensive medicine. Just did not seem right to swallow something that I was not going to keep inside of me...ya know?
So this week I will be and have been taking my medicine every night before bed.

Anyone else?

Monday, March 3, 2008


I just found this blog and it is....well...its beautiful. The writer has such a way with words that she draws you in from the start. Its like you can read her heart right there on the blog. Its... beautiful. Check it out.

I hope Im remembered with cookies...

I was just reading the most beautiful description of a funeral. You just have to go here and read about this.

Change One Monday

To see other Change One Monday posts go here and here.

So last week I wanted to change my rising time. I did great. I got up at 7 am every morning but Thursday and Saturday. I have battled the flu most of the week and those were the two days that were the worst. I think I am coming out of it now, but today I overslept. Im ok with that because my body really does need the rest. Im determined to get back on the horse this week though.

My change for this week is my medicine. I have two prescription medications I need to take everyday. I was doing pretty good until last week and now I am out of the habit again. So now everyday before bed time I will take my medications.

Anyone else?