This post is from August 27, 2005. Someone left me a comment with the following questions and I answered them to the best of my ability. How many kids of your own do you have and how many foster kids?
All the children I have right now (5) are foster children. We should begin the adoption process on our three girls sometime next month and then it could take MONTHS to finish it. As far as children of our own we pray everyday that God would open my womb. We have faith that He one day will... kinda funny story. The state of Florida says you can only have five children in your home as a foster parent. (Sometimes they make exceptions as you saw) Hubby and I were discussing it one day and wondering maybe if we were not supposed to adopt our five children from the state and then God would give us our own biological children. We know we would love to have a big family so we are kinda wondering if that is God's plan because like I said before we both firmly believe that the day will come when I have my own baby.
How do you give the foster kids the sense of stability/permenancy that they deserve and need even though they and you know they will be moving on again?
PRAYER! The minute the child comes through our door we pray pray pray over them. Claim them as our own and cover them with protection. One thing you dont know is what kind of evil these children have attached to them. We just start at the beginning and pray it all off of them. No we dont wail and scream and shake the child. We simply hold him and claim him as our own. My husband claims fatherhood over the child which puts him in the spiritual leader seat. We believe that as long as that child is with us God recognizes us as his parents. We also have a policy that we will keep the child until they go back to thier parents. NO matter how difficult. Now of course we would have to reevaluate this policy if a child entered our home who was a threat to any other children already in our care. We also accept each child as our own for however long he is here. We take them on trips, to family outings, out to eat... whatever we are doing. Now this might sound like common sense but believe it or not some foster children spend more time away from thier foster family then they do with them.
How long do you typically have foster kids?
Well in the year and 3 months we have been doing this we have had our 2 year old for one year and 3 months. We had two little girls from Labor day til the middle of October. We have had our two girls since the middle of October. We got a little boy the Friday before Mother's day and he is still here probably will be til after the first of the year. We got another two year old right before the fourth of July and he went home this week. We got our other little girl in the middle of July and will be adopting her. So out of 8 children so far we have only had three leave us and they were only here for about a month.
Do they get along well with your own kids?
We dont have children of our own but I will tell you I am amazed at how well all the different children get along. They basically behave like siblings. Fighting one minute defending to the death the next. They are all rather bossy but seem to handle each other well.
How do you assure that your own kids' needs are met while meeting the special challenges associated with many foster kids?
Honestly, we have not had hardly any special challenges. I believe that prayer has kept us from some of the tragic stories you hear about these foster children. Believe me when I say all of these children in my home right now have every right to be bitter, resentful, distrustful.. but they are not. They are happy well adjusted little people. Just like anyone else's children. They get into trouble like other's children as well. They are by no means perfect but I have not seen any behavior that is not typical for another child thier age. I have had someone at almost every agency we have worked with remark that my children do not resembe typical foster children. All I can tell you is that God is the authority over our children. We establish that day one by giving the child to God. We also use consistantcy. Consistant love, consistant discipline, consistant expectations. The children THRIVE on consistency. Its like I tell most people about my eight year old who is my biggest challange to date behavior wise... she has had eight year of inconsistant harsh discipline. With one month of consistant loving discipline I alread see changes in her. Such as true repentance when she does wrong and a heart seeking after God.I love being a mommy no matter whose children they are. All of my children but one call me mommy and the one who doesnt came from a very loving home where his mom made some mistakes.
God gives us strength patience and perserverance when we think we cant take one more step. We are so blessed to be the parents to these children and if we had our way we would NEVER stop fostering. I hope I answered all of your questions. I hope others would feel free to ask questions about fostering. There is a lot of stuff not understood. One thing is sure though we need good solid Christian homes to foster. Too many times these children are put in a godless home where they are given the basics but do not get hugs and I love yous. One goal I have for each child in my care is that they leave my home knowing the words to Jesus Loves Me. If they can sing that song then they can understand that they are never alone and that Jesus always loves them.
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