Thoughts

Im sitting here surfing the internet, waiting for hubby to come home so we can go to Life Group. I will blog about what that is later on, I promise. I thought I better put up a post since I have been so scarce these past couple of weeks. I really do have a lot I want to write about, I just keep running out of time.
After a lot of prayer and deliberation we decided to let my oldest daughter continue dancing. She has to have all of her school work done each day and it has to be her best. She has to have a good attitude when she is corrected. This has been going well the last few weeks. She is on top of her school work and she is working extra hard at learning the dance they will be performing at church in a few weeks. We are also implementing some more blessings/consequences for right/wrong behavior. After much prayer I was afraid I was dishing out way too much negativity and not enough positive reinforcement. Im still learning to balance my expectations with what my children are capable of. Im still at a place where I believe if you have higher expectations for a child they will strive to meet them, but Im also learning that sometimes they have to fall to reach higher. I dont know if that makes sense at all. This mom job is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be.
I have to laugh because I watch Friends occasionally (a lot less than I used to, I want to say, before people throw rotten tomatoes at me!!) and there is one episode that always got to me.
Two of the characters are married and are trying to adopt a baby. Chandler, the husband, tries to convince the birth mom interviewing them to pick them. He says something along the lines of , "Monica is a mother, without a child to mother". I used to always get all choked up because I always though that was me. Then the Lord blessed me with FIVE at once and I realized I was not the mom I always thought I would be. Frankly, I fail Every. Single. Day. I had visions of being June Cleaver, instead I think Im Roseanne. YIKES!
I still strive to be the mom my children need. I strive to be a gracious, loving, full of wisdom mom. I pray for it everyday. I know that God is working in me. I know He is perfecting me a little more everyday. I know my children are seeing differences. I know they also see the setbacks. Sometimes my pride or my anger gets in the way. They see me deal with that everyday. I try to confess my faults at night in our family prayer time. I want my kids to see that I know Im not perfect. I want them to hear me confess it to God and ask forgivness.
Part of me cant wait until they are grown just so I can see who they become. Of course the mommy part of me wants time to stand still, but you know the anticipation of seeing what God is going to do in their lives is exciting.
Ok now Im rambling a bit. Just some thoughts to ponder until I can get back into blogging at a more consistent rate.

Be Blessed!