With all the devastation around me lately I have been more proactive in finding ways to protect my marriage. Here are some of the things I have been doing lately.1. Pray for your husband. Even when your mad at him. Even when you don't think he knows what he's doing. Even when your so fed up you could scream. A few years ago I started going to God anytime I was mad at my husband. I would start at one and list every fault I could come up with. Ya know what happened? God worked on my heart and started showing me my faults. Ouch. And see I said all the hurtful things I wanted to say to Roy to God. I did not tear down my husband's trust and confidence by uttering hateful hurtful words to him, because I'd already told God. God made me see those things weren't true. Once you utter the words to your husband you can't take them back. I used to be a knock down drag out fighter. Now our fights are so infrequent we are both surprised when they happen.
2. Pray with your husband. How could your marriage go astray if you are kneeling beside him and going to your Creator together every night? Praying together is probably the best thing you could ever do for your marriage. If your husband does not want to pray with you then don't nag. Go to God and tell GOD how you desire a closer relationship with your husband through prayer. Can God not change your husband's heart and desire? What if it's not right away? God's timing is not our timing.
3. Abstain from ALL appearances of evil. There is a song out right now that our Preacher has referenced many times in the last few weeks. It's called Slow Fade. I think it's by Casting Crowns. You can hear it in the movie Fireproof. Basically it says that you don't fall in one day. Its a series of decisions and choices that you make. Choosing to form a relationship online with another man. Choosing to go to coffee with a man "just to talk". Choosing a job where you as a married woman are away for days at a time on business trips. Choosing to give the guy at the store your cell phone number. Choosing to compare the man your talking to, to your husband and thinking he is so much better than the man you married. I beg you to say "NO!" shout it, say it out loud. Make it known. "NO! I will not make this choice. As innocent as it may seem now! NO!" A rule my husband and I have other than to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex is to view all of our experiences with the opposite sex asking one question. "Is this something I would feel comfortable with my husband/wife doing?" Would my husband be comfortable with me having dinner with another man alone? If not then should he have dinner with another woman alone? Would I be comfortable with my wife giving marriage advice to another man? Then should I be comfortable giving marriage advice to another woman? This question has saved us from many would be sticky situations.
4. Love him. Even when you don't want to. I have become convinced in the last 8 years of marriage that love is a choice I make. It's not a feeling. When my husband makes me so mad I can't see straight I have a choice. Either I let that bitterness in and start a slow fade away from my marriage or I throw on my happy face and decide that I love him for better or for worse. This just happens to be the worse. LOL Choices, choices, choices.
5. One last thing. No, God does not want you to end your marriage because you are not happy! I am so tired of hearing, "Well, surely God is releasing me because I am so miserable!" Who cares? Can I ask again, Was Jesus happy on the cross? Was it a painful, trying time for Him? If Jesus can endure all of that suffering then who are we to balk about not being happy! God knew all about your marriage before you did. If He was going to release you from it because one day you weren't going to be happy why would he have put you in that marriage to begin with?
Love on those men. Thank God for them. Lift them up! I am hearing about more and more Christian marriages being struck down today. The enemy is attacking and hard. Be on the defensive. Guard your marriage for all it's worth. Come against the lies of the enemy. Believe in the one True God who loves you. Who created you. Who knew your name before your were thought of. Pray!!!!
This is all so true, and things that have taken me a very long time to learn. I sometimes wonder if the slow fade can be reversed? I have made so many mistakes in my marriage! I pray that families are raising and training up thier children at a young age about marriage and how to treat each other. It's not something you just learn when you marry. If you have had no training in how to treat your spouse and know what they need, things can go very wrong. I see this as a huge issue today, even in christians. Bless you for this post!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, some things I think we need experience to learn. How to be a good and loving wife has only been revealed to me through our trials and through close study of the Bible. I am far from the perfect little wife. Boy, do I have a hard time. But I have chosen to be proactive in protecting my marriage.
ReplyDeleteI think it is possible to train our children for marriage. I tell mine everyday that as we learn to love the others in our house and respect them we are learning to love and respect our future families.
Yes, the slow fade can be reversed. Every day you make the choice to protect your marriage it gets a little stronger!