As I sat tonight thinking over my day I cried out to the Lord. I told Him about my failures as a mom today. My gracious heavenly Father said, "Get up tomorrow and try again." You see my oldest daughter and I have been having trouble lately. Im not sure if she is trying to assert her new 10 year old self or what, but my hair is coming out in clumps. Daily she is in trouble for yet another transgression. Today, after taking away an outing she was planning for this weekend, due to an act of willful disobedience she turned around and did something childish and then lied about it. This is an ongoing thing in our house lately. A not so smart move on her part and then a lie to try to cover it. She has a working understanding that the lie will ALWAYS get her in trouble, whereas the childish foolishness will probably only get a mild reprimand. When the lie popped out easy as you please I lost it and screamed at her for about 2 minutes. It was a bad time. Later, hubby asked how I could have handled it differently and I came up with a ton of ways. He is so good and patient, though I often tell him if he were the one home all day and having to put up with the child's attitude everytime he turned around it would be a different world. LOL. I dont mean that, he would probably still handle it perfectly.
Funny thing about this sweet little girl is she is my most forgiving child. By this evening we were talking again and she was loving on me. My husband worries about our relationship when she is grown, but I have a lot of confidence that out of all my girls she and I will weather the storms of life the best together. One day out of the blue she told me that I was just learning to be a mommy, just like she was learning to have a mommy. That about sums it up for both of us.
Julie,
ReplyDeleteMy heart cries with you.
My oldest girl, though only four, is my biggest challenge right now. Such disobedience that I never dealth with in my son. I worry because my relationship with my own mother was so strained - until just recenly. It can be scary...I know.
Yet remember what God has said to you - take it one day at a time. Ask forgiveness when needed, then move on. God chose YOU to be the best Momma for this girl. YOU! He knew you would yell that day - but He still chose YOU. Rely on Him.
Plus this comment:
"One day out of the blue she told me that I was just learning to be a mommy, just like she was learning to have a mommy."
So true. Out of the mouths of babes...
You are in my prayers, friend.
~Lori
Please know that I am praying for you and your family always. At a time when I was feeling the worst about how I am as a mother, God decided that means I need more practice and I found out I was pregnant. We all fail. We all fall. It helps me to remember that not just for myself but for those I am guiding and teaching. I love you, sweetie.
ReplyDeleteMM