So how many children all up are you planning on adopting? How old are they? I know you want your own children so how do you think you will manage the mix of birth and adopted children?
We are adopting five children in all at this point. Hopefully in two years we will be moving into a bigger house and maybe getting a bigger vehicle. If those two worlds collide we will be looking to adopt some more children. Yes, we do hope that God blesses us with some children of our own as well. I dont think there will be any problems between birth and adopted children. They will all be loved as much as my heart can love them. These children we are adopting wont be my "adopted" children versus my biological children. They will all just be my children.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Adoption
Word just came through that Adrian's mom and dad signed the surrender papers. This means we should be able to start the adoption process soon. I talked to his mom and dad at the hearing today and she is pregnant. Her due date is January 11, 2006. She does want us to have the baby. Of course a lot can happen between now and then but we are going on faith that we will be the mommy and daddy to little Jonathan David. I dont know anything about newborns as all of my children have come to me at a year of age or older. Should be interesting to learn.
The girls will probably be adopted in January 2006. I talked to thier worker today.
Well gotta get dinner ready.
More later.
The girls will probably be adopted in January 2006. I talked to thier worker today.
Well gotta get dinner ready.
More later.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Im home
We got back from our trip to North Carolina yesterday. We had a blast. I have lots to blog about but right now Im waiting for my banana bread to be done and then I have to get the rolls for tonights supper ready.
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Whats In A Name and It Might Be a Boy
Well A's mom told our worker that she is having a little boy and she wants hubby and I to pick out a name for him. Allow me to be transparent for a moment. Im so in love with this maybe fictional little guy that every time I think about him my heart pounds and I get tears in my eyes. I pray all the time that God will keep my baby safe and healthy. Im trying to hold on to that last shred of reality that says dont believe anything until you have him in your arms. I know if there is no baby that God has another one waiting for us somewhere but this little guy has wormed his way into my heart. When I look at my sweet blond haired, blue eyed two year old I think about what his little brother might look like. For those who dont know me personally trust me when I say that A is one cute little bugger. He has dimples and a smile and a personality and he is just one special little guy. Will his brother be like him? So goes our life! :)
Im going to reveal some names to you all today. I have kept them hidden but now with adoptions right around the corner I have been busy with a project. We are going to be changing our girls middle names and A's middle name too. Plus I have been looking at baby names. We want names that mean something. If our daughters or sons asked us why they were given the names they have I can tell them the meaning of the name their mothers gave them and then the meaning of the name I gave them. I will be telling you first names and then moving on with what some of the names I have found for a middle name and thier meaning. Now some of these names are funny. I liked the meaning a lot but will not be using them. I have a dear sweet hubby who will veto half to all of the names so dont fear when you see them. Ok here we go. Let me know what you think.
For the eight year old.
Her name is Karly which means "little, womanly" as best as I can find out. They did not have a meaning for that actual name that I could find but this was from a name Karly is derived from.
For a middle name I thought about who she is. God is important to her and I think she is very close to becoming a believer. She is also full of love and very lovable. Here are some middle names.
Christiana - "Christian"
Amanda- "Love, Worthy of Love, Precious thing"
Janisa - "Funny, loveable, hyper child" This made me laugh because she is all of these!
Liese- "Beloved by God"
Tesia - "loved by God"
Vevina - "Sweet Lady"
For the five year old.
Her name is Kelsie. The best meaning I could find was "beautiful Island". Searching for hers was a lot like Karly's because they did not have an actual meaning for her name just some different versions and what that meant and were derived from. She is my beautiful, graceful, peaceful, quiet child. Here are some middle names.
Keely- "beautiful and graceful"
Kisalyn- "Beautiful bearer of Christ"
Serena - "Peaceful one, Calm"
Anika -" Very beautiful, graceful"
Annabelle/a - "grace and Beauty"
Charrise - "grace, beauty, kindness"
Nina- "grace"
Roseanne- "graceful lamb"
Seanna- "God's Grace"
Christine - "Christ bearer"
For the four year old.
Her name is Tamara. Her name means "palm tree, spice" :(. I think we should change her first name!!! LOL She has the face and smile of an angel. She is just as sweet and as loveable as the day is long! Some middle names for her.
Parisa - "angelic face" this is my personal favorite because it fits her so well but never fear hubby vetoed this one in his sleep. LOL
Angelica - "Angelic"
Angelina- "Little Angel"
Evangeline- "Like an angel"
Neria - "Lamp of God, angel" I love this one too but its such an odd name!
For the two year old.
His name is Adrian. It means rich, wealthy, dark one. He is obsitinate, ornery, strong willed....beautiful, loving, sweet, handsome, charming....
Middle names.
I found one right away and knew it was for my little boy.
Charles - "Manly, strong" I have to run it by hubby but I think this will be his new middle name.
For our baby, Lord willing.
My personal favorite
Jonathon - "Gift of God"
David -"Beloved One"
Caleb- "Bold"
Michael- "Who is Like God"
Paul- "Little One"
Christopher- "Christ Bearer"
Well there you have it. You know who KA, KE, T, and A are. C is still a mystery because he is going home soon. Please let me know what you think of the names. Tell me your favorites. Make fun of the ones you dont like...with taste please.
Happy Sunday!
Im going to reveal some names to you all today. I have kept them hidden but now with adoptions right around the corner I have been busy with a project. We are going to be changing our girls middle names and A's middle name too. Plus I have been looking at baby names. We want names that mean something. If our daughters or sons asked us why they were given the names they have I can tell them the meaning of the name their mothers gave them and then the meaning of the name I gave them. I will be telling you first names and then moving on with what some of the names I have found for a middle name and thier meaning. Now some of these names are funny. I liked the meaning a lot but will not be using them. I have a dear sweet hubby who will veto half to all of the names so dont fear when you see them. Ok here we go. Let me know what you think.
For the eight year old.
Her name is Karly which means "little, womanly" as best as I can find out. They did not have a meaning for that actual name that I could find but this was from a name Karly is derived from.
For a middle name I thought about who she is. God is important to her and I think she is very close to becoming a believer. She is also full of love and very lovable. Here are some middle names.
Christiana - "Christian"
Amanda- "Love, Worthy of Love, Precious thing"
Janisa - "Funny, loveable, hyper child" This made me laugh because she is all of these!
Liese- "Beloved by God"
Tesia - "loved by God"
Vevina - "Sweet Lady"
For the five year old.
Her name is Kelsie. The best meaning I could find was "beautiful Island". Searching for hers was a lot like Karly's because they did not have an actual meaning for her name just some different versions and what that meant and were derived from. She is my beautiful, graceful, peaceful, quiet child. Here are some middle names.
Keely- "beautiful and graceful"
Kisalyn- "Beautiful bearer of Christ"
Serena - "Peaceful one, Calm"
Anika -" Very beautiful, graceful"
Annabelle/a - "grace and Beauty"
Charrise - "grace, beauty, kindness"
Nina- "grace"
Roseanne- "graceful lamb"
Seanna- "God's Grace"
Christine - "Christ bearer"
For the four year old.
Her name is Tamara. Her name means "palm tree, spice" :(. I think we should change her first name!!! LOL She has the face and smile of an angel. She is just as sweet and as loveable as the day is long! Some middle names for her.
Parisa - "angelic face" this is my personal favorite because it fits her so well but never fear hubby vetoed this one in his sleep. LOL
Angelica - "Angelic"
Angelina- "Little Angel"
Evangeline- "Like an angel"
Neria - "Lamp of God, angel" I love this one too but its such an odd name!
For the two year old.
His name is Adrian. It means rich, wealthy, dark one. He is obsitinate, ornery, strong willed....beautiful, loving, sweet, handsome, charming....
Middle names.
I found one right away and knew it was for my little boy.
Charles - "Manly, strong" I have to run it by hubby but I think this will be his new middle name.
For our baby, Lord willing.
My personal favorite
Jonathon - "Gift of God"
David -"Beloved One"
Caleb- "Bold"
Michael- "Who is Like God"
Paul- "Little One"
Christopher- "Christ Bearer"
Well there you have it. You know who KA, KE, T, and A are. C is still a mystery because he is going home soon. Please let me know what you think of the names. Tell me your favorites. Make fun of the ones you dont like...with taste please.
Happy Sunday!
2 Things
I got this from Wandaring Homemaker...she is always tagging me with silly stuff..but she knows I love her! :) Anyone else can copy and paste this over to thier blog leave me a note telling me you did it!
2 names you go by
1. Julie
2. Juicy (Given to me 8 years ago by a 2 year old who could not seem to say my name. Now her and her siblings still call me Juicy)
2 parts of your heritage
1. Godly
2. English
2 things that scare you
1. Being Buried Alive
2. Being eaten by rats... (I saw this on without a trace the other night and now I keep thinking about it!)
2 of your everyday essentials
1. Bible Time
2. "I love you" from hubby
2 things you are wearing right now
1. Long burgandy colored skirt
2. burgandy and green striped sweater shirt
2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. Casting Crowns
2. Mercy Me
2 favorite songs (at the moment)
1. Who Am I?
2. Never Been More Homesick Than Now (I dont know the name but that sounds right!)
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. Laughter
2. Communication(Praise God, I have them both! )
2 truths
1. Jesus in the only Way to Heaven
2. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. Sense of Humor
2. Faithfullness
2 of your favorite hobbies
1. Sewing
2. Reading
2 things you want really badly
1. Have a big house with lots o land
2. To be organized
2 places you want to go on vacation
1. New England area
2. Lancaster, Pennsylvania
2 things you want to do before you die (Lord willing)
1. See our children busy serving for God' s kingdom
2. See all of our children saved
2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. I talk a lot!
2. I love pretty things and (dh says I have a lot of shoes)
2 things you are thinking about now
1. Thanksgiving
2. A new baby
2 stores you shop at
1. Publix
2. Sams
2 people to tag:
1. Allison
2. Jessica
2 names you go by
1. Julie
2. Juicy (Given to me 8 years ago by a 2 year old who could not seem to say my name. Now her and her siblings still call me Juicy)
2 parts of your heritage
1. Godly
2. English
2 things that scare you
1. Being Buried Alive
2. Being eaten by rats... (I saw this on without a trace the other night and now I keep thinking about it!)
2 of your everyday essentials
1. Bible Time
2. "I love you" from hubby
2 things you are wearing right now
1. Long burgandy colored skirt
2. burgandy and green striped sweater shirt
2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. Casting Crowns
2. Mercy Me
2 favorite songs (at the moment)
1. Who Am I?
2. Never Been More Homesick Than Now (I dont know the name but that sounds right!)
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. Laughter
2. Communication(Praise God, I have them both! )
2 truths
1. Jesus in the only Way to Heaven
2. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. Sense of Humor
2. Faithfullness
2 of your favorite hobbies
1. Sewing
2. Reading
2 things you want really badly
1. Have a big house with lots o land
2. To be organized
2 places you want to go on vacation
1. New England area
2. Lancaster, Pennsylvania
2 things you want to do before you die (Lord willing)
1. See our children busy serving for God' s kingdom
2. See all of our children saved
2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. I talk a lot!
2. I love pretty things and (dh says I have a lot of shoes)
2 things you are thinking about now
1. Thanksgiving
2. A new baby
2 stores you shop at
1. Publix
2. Sams
2 people to tag:
1. Allison
2. Jessica
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Update on our children
I talked to the social worker for the girls yesterday. She has nine adoptions on her plate right now on top of all her other cases. She is working like gang busters to get this one through. She said we are at the top of her list. We might have to wait until January due to some technical difficulties, but Im ok with that as long as it gets done!
Now, our surprise of the week. We went to court for A on Tuesday. We were hoping for a termination of parental rights trial, but his parents were not there. Our worker went by their house to inform them of the trial because they have to be given notice and the place was vacant. The mom called me Fri night and left a message so I gave that number to our worker. If we dont find mom and dad and serve them with the papers we have to wait an additional thirty days for a "dilligent search" search to be made. Anyways, we got our case pushed back to Nov 29. The state appointed lawyer for the mom stops hubby and me on the way out and says he needs to speak with us. He tells us mom wants us to adopt A and his sibling due Jan 11. We dont know for sure if she is pregnant. She has told the caseworker she is but never gave any proof of it. We are trying not to get our hopes up at this point because a million things could happen to change things between now and January...if she even is pregnant. :P
As far as we know she has not given up her bad habits of drugs, drinking and smoking and has had little to no prenatel care so we have been praying for the health of the unborn baby.
We are heading out to North Carolina next week for Thanksgiving with my friend and her family. I have so much to do between now and then. I am so excited. She of course will cook a huge meal and we will stuff ourselves silly and I have already decided that Weight Watchers does not apply on Thanksgiving. I will jump back on program on Friday... I hope. LOL! I have lost 6.2 pounds so far and would like to continue to see a downward spiral.
Ok I better get going busy day of sewing ahead. :)
Now, our surprise of the week. We went to court for A on Tuesday. We were hoping for a termination of parental rights trial, but his parents were not there. Our worker went by their house to inform them of the trial because they have to be given notice and the place was vacant. The mom called me Fri night and left a message so I gave that number to our worker. If we dont find mom and dad and serve them with the papers we have to wait an additional thirty days for a "dilligent search" search to be made. Anyways, we got our case pushed back to Nov 29. The state appointed lawyer for the mom stops hubby and me on the way out and says he needs to speak with us. He tells us mom wants us to adopt A and his sibling due Jan 11. We dont know for sure if she is pregnant. She has told the caseworker she is but never gave any proof of it. We are trying not to get our hopes up at this point because a million things could happen to change things between now and January...if she even is pregnant. :P
As far as we know she has not given up her bad habits of drugs, drinking and smoking and has had little to no prenatel care so we have been praying for the health of the unborn baby.
We are heading out to North Carolina next week for Thanksgiving with my friend and her family. I have so much to do between now and then. I am so excited. She of course will cook a huge meal and we will stuff ourselves silly and I have already decided that Weight Watchers does not apply on Thanksgiving. I will jump back on program on Friday... I hope. LOL! I have lost 6.2 pounds so far and would like to continue to see a downward spiral.
Ok I better get going busy day of sewing ahead. :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Questions about foster care
Thank you Julie. I enjoyed reading that very much. My husband and I have never been able to have children and have considered being foster parents. I must say though we have several fears about the whole thing. Some of them are 1) having the government so deeply involved in your life. 2) the emotional torture of having to give a child back to a parent who you KNOW is going to hurt them again. 3) I was on a foster website and ALL the children were listed as having ADD or ADHD and we're thinking, yeah, we know how to take care of kids (I've taught preschool in the past) but having no actual PARENTAL experience are we able to handle a child with ADD or ADHD? And are we going to have to give them drugs constantly? 4) we knew of a family in our Church who were foster parents and the foster kids told the case worker that the dad spanked them---thankfully the caseworker searched out the matter and found out the girl was lying but it's scary to think of being accused of something like that. 5) my husband and I aren't in our 20's anymore (he's in his 40's and I'm in my 30's) so I wonder if we have the stamina for it! (o; 6) my husband works LONG hours so the bulk of it all would fall to me, and though I've taken care of several children before, it's different than actually 'parenting' them. 7)having to deal with the birth parents. 8) As Christians we have certain beliefs about music, dress, etc...how do you tell a child who's been listening to rock music his/her whole life that it is not allowed in our house?
The above comment was posted by Mrs. B. I am going to answer her questions here so everyone can see them.
1) Yes, the government is involved in your life. You have a ton of people traipsing through your house monthly. You have to document all areas of life. If the child gets hurt you have to document it. If the child is sick you have to document it. They will decide what is best for the child as far as medical care and mental health. If they want to drug your child you cant stop them. Some workers are laid back and easy going. They know children fall down, they know children get angry when they get in trouble. Other workers question your every move. You get used to it..and remember you KEEP your SENSE OF HUMOR! They do let you make a lot of decisions regarding the child but they have the power to veto your decisions.
2) This has happened. You just PRAY! You give the child as much of yourself as you can before he is sent back and as much of God's love as you dole out. Then you send up a prayer everytime you think of the little one and move on taking care of the ones still with you.
3)Yes, every child in foster care is on mind altering drugs. Or at least it seems that way. There was even an article in a newspaper about it once. Right now out of my five only one is on ADHD drugs. As soon as she is mine we will be getting her off of the drugs. She does not need them she is an 8 year old girl who has a lot of energy and creativity. A lot of the children just have never been given discipline or boundaries. If you stay consistent within one month you will see a completely different child. We did not have any experience either. We read our Bible, we prayed and we learned from experience. We are always getting compliments on our children.
4) The first thing they told us in class is you will have an accusation made against you. We have had a couple but have all been unfounded. Not even enough to warrant an investigation. The caseworkers know that kids will say and do anything to get their way. They are used to it. We are careful around the children, they know though that we love them and when they get in trouble its because we love them. You cannot spank foster children. Goodness knows some of them need it BUT you cant do it. The workers tend to side with foster parents more often than not. If your child has any sort of weird injury report it immediately to the case worker and write it all down. We have a little boy with us who wanted so desperatly to go back to his mom that he told anyone who would listen that we were banging his head on the table. After some more questions it was determined that he thought that if they took me to jail like his mommy he would get to go back to her. You definitely have to stay on your toes!
5) Im almost 27 and my DH is 33. Sometimes I dont think we have the stamina! Its tiring definitely but well worth it. You are given a questionnaire at the beginning and you can pick which behaviors you dont want, what ages you want, boys or girls or both, how many? You just match your abilities to a child. Probably I would say early elementary or preschool would be a good starting point for you guys..but then again since your home you could feasibly do babies. ???
6)See answer 5. Start with one or two and get comfortable there. If you can handle more add one more. If you are comfortable with one or two then stay with one or two. You get to say yes or no when placement call you.
7)AHH! My favorite part of the whole process. Some birth parents you grow to love others you want to strangle. The main thing is you can choose how much involvement personally you have with them. Some of my children's birth parents I have never met. One I like a lot and one just gets on my last nerves. This is where your sense of humor comes in... AGAIN!
8)We are strong Christians. The children in your home can be raised according to your beliefs. They can attend church with you and are required to abide by your house rules. We have a house rule about television. Our workers think its crazy but they respect it. Our little girls wear dresses most of the time though we dont require it...we do encourage it. Our biggest change was our eight year old. She finally decided she was not going to "die" without 24/7 television.
There are limitations to how you can raise the children and what you can do. Its frustrating sometimes but it just forces you to rely on God. He has made me quiet creative. :)
The above comment was posted by Mrs. B. I am going to answer her questions here so everyone can see them.
1) Yes, the government is involved in your life. You have a ton of people traipsing through your house monthly. You have to document all areas of life. If the child gets hurt you have to document it. If the child is sick you have to document it. They will decide what is best for the child as far as medical care and mental health. If they want to drug your child you cant stop them. Some workers are laid back and easy going. They know children fall down, they know children get angry when they get in trouble. Other workers question your every move. You get used to it..and remember you KEEP your SENSE OF HUMOR! They do let you make a lot of decisions regarding the child but they have the power to veto your decisions.
2) This has happened. You just PRAY! You give the child as much of yourself as you can before he is sent back and as much of God's love as you dole out. Then you send up a prayer everytime you think of the little one and move on taking care of the ones still with you.
3)Yes, every child in foster care is on mind altering drugs. Or at least it seems that way. There was even an article in a newspaper about it once. Right now out of my five only one is on ADHD drugs. As soon as she is mine we will be getting her off of the drugs. She does not need them she is an 8 year old girl who has a lot of energy and creativity. A lot of the children just have never been given discipline or boundaries. If you stay consistent within one month you will see a completely different child. We did not have any experience either. We read our Bible, we prayed and we learned from experience. We are always getting compliments on our children.
4) The first thing they told us in class is you will have an accusation made against you. We have had a couple but have all been unfounded. Not even enough to warrant an investigation. The caseworkers know that kids will say and do anything to get their way. They are used to it. We are careful around the children, they know though that we love them and when they get in trouble its because we love them. You cannot spank foster children. Goodness knows some of them need it BUT you cant do it. The workers tend to side with foster parents more often than not. If your child has any sort of weird injury report it immediately to the case worker and write it all down. We have a little boy with us who wanted so desperatly to go back to his mom that he told anyone who would listen that we were banging his head on the table. After some more questions it was determined that he thought that if they took me to jail like his mommy he would get to go back to her. You definitely have to stay on your toes!
5) Im almost 27 and my DH is 33. Sometimes I dont think we have the stamina! Its tiring definitely but well worth it. You are given a questionnaire at the beginning and you can pick which behaviors you dont want, what ages you want, boys or girls or both, how many? You just match your abilities to a child. Probably I would say early elementary or preschool would be a good starting point for you guys..but then again since your home you could feasibly do babies. ???
6)See answer 5. Start with one or two and get comfortable there. If you can handle more add one more. If you are comfortable with one or two then stay with one or two. You get to say yes or no when placement call you.
7)AHH! My favorite part of the whole process. Some birth parents you grow to love others you want to strangle. The main thing is you can choose how much involvement personally you have with them. Some of my children's birth parents I have never met. One I like a lot and one just gets on my last nerves. This is where your sense of humor comes in... AGAIN!
8)We are strong Christians. The children in your home can be raised according to your beliefs. They can attend church with you and are required to abide by your house rules. We have a house rule about television. Our workers think its crazy but they respect it. Our little girls wear dresses most of the time though we dont require it...we do encourage it. Our biggest change was our eight year old. She finally decided she was not going to "die" without 24/7 television.
There are limitations to how you can raise the children and what you can do. Its frustrating sometimes but it just forces you to rely on God. He has made me quiet creative. :)
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Win this!
Click the link above and be registered to win. When you register I will get an automatic entry. Challies has this every month I think. I always see it on Amy's blog and register through her.
Where it asks you to enter a referral code enter 111210.
Thanks!
Friday, November 11, 2005
The Realities of Being A Fosterparent.
Ok first of all I love being a foster parent. I love having a housefull of children. The system stinks and I know that...believe me... I KNOW that. Sometimes they take children who should not be taken. Sometimes they leave children when they should be taken. Sometimes they give parents too many chances. Sometimes they dont give parents enough chances. The children who have come into our home have come because or abuse, neglect, unsafe home conditions, and one because mom would not get rid of the boyfriend. I have had one little guy in my care for 1.5 years. He has been in care for two years. He came in at 6 months old. Do the math and you know Im his mommy, hubby is his daddy. End of story. We are supposed to start termination of parental rights with him next week. It could take one day for the judge to sign the order and then a 30 day appeal process. It could take one month to years! His mom has done nothing to try to get him back this year. It should not take this long. I have three little girls that we will soon be adopting.They have been in care for 3 years. Their mother took off about a year ago and never came back. It still took 6 months to get her rights terminated. I had two little girls with me for awhile. Sweet as could be. When they came into care with thier two month old baby brother they were severly neglected. When CPS picked the children up there was no food in the house and the baby had tea in his bottle. The children were in our care for one month, the baby was at another foster home we did not have room. They were sent to live with grandparents even though CPS said that the grandparents were at the house and knew the state the children lived in and did not recommended the relative placement. Six months later the baby now 9 months old had not gained any weight and the girls were also showing failure to thrive. They are back in the system and probably going up for adoption. Oh, how I long for a fifteen passanger van. Thats the only thing stopping me from making the call. They will probably be seperated for adoption. Not many people will take three children. All this transpired over a year. I had a little boy for awhile who was one of four. His older brother was five and could not talk, ate everything in sight, and could not sleep in a bed. He had to sleep on the floor. His older sister was three. She'd been run over by a truck at 18 months of age and had none of the surgeries she needed that could have saved her sight, allowed her to have a normal mouth full of teethe, or straightened bones that would help her grow. CPS put all of the children back with the mother ( they were taken from her ex husband) even though she left them in a dangerous enviroment and obviously medically neglected her daughter. They left the three year old in care in a medical foster home so she could continue medical treatments.
"How do you do it?" Im always asked this question. I do it because... well because somebody has to. I do it with a sense of humor. Do any of the stories above make you laugh? NOPE. But there are things in the day to day life of dealing with the system that you learn to laugh at. Its not funny when a child hordes food, but you laugh when you see the imaginative places they have hidden it. Its not funny when the biological mother of a child complains to you about the baby snatchers coming to her house and how she did nothing wrong even though the child came into your home covered in bruises or other emotional scars that you cant just kiss away, but you have to laugh the way she is whining to you. She obviously thinks you are going to believe she is the victim! Is it funny when a bio misses her third court appearence because she is "sick". No, but you learn to laugh when the General Magistrate looks around the room and says, "Well thats convienient. Make sure we send her a get well card!" So you learn to laugh. Unfortunatly, you learn to make some new friends. Other foster parents who will laugh with you because otherwise people are going to think you are strange. :) We laugh, we pray and we hope. Thats our secret.
I have done a lot of posts on being a foster parent. I want other people to be foster parents. Especially Christians. I want people to love these children unconditionally. I dont want to think I have to save them all. I want to think that there are others out there like me who just want to win the lottery so they can buy a couple of busses and a big house with a lot of land. I decided to give you guys reality here.
I wanted you to know that sometimes they will call you at 10:30pm to take a child for a day or two, leave him with you for a month, and then one day out of the blue call and say you have half an hour to get him ready because he is going home. Your husband and your children in school wont even be able to tell him goodbye. You wont be able to understand why, despite the horror stories you have heard from his worker, his Guardian Ad Litem, and his assesment worker, he is going back to the hell he came from.
I want you to know that sometimes they will come and take the sweetest little blond curly headed girl home only to put her back in care six months later with a haunted look in her eyes, that was not there when she left your house.
I want you to know that you will have some workers who care more about getting their papers signed than about listening to your concerns or answering questions about the children.
I want you to know that it is worth every hassle you go through. Every scream of fustration that leaves your mouth. Every tear you cry! There is nothing in life quiet as fufilling as to know that you could be the love and support and encouragement that a child might never have had. That you can be a child's safe harbor even if only for a little while. To teach a child the Jesus loves him and will never leave him is a gift in and of itself. To teach that to a child that will find himself alone and hurting again and again..is a miracle.
Thank you God for giving me this privalege!
Fosterparents.com is the best place for resources on how you can become a foster parent that I have found. I will add some more foster parent links after I go through my files to see what I have.
"How do you do it?" Im always asked this question. I do it because... well because somebody has to. I do it with a sense of humor. Do any of the stories above make you laugh? NOPE. But there are things in the day to day life of dealing with the system that you learn to laugh at. Its not funny when a child hordes food, but you laugh when you see the imaginative places they have hidden it. Its not funny when the biological mother of a child complains to you about the baby snatchers coming to her house and how she did nothing wrong even though the child came into your home covered in bruises or other emotional scars that you cant just kiss away, but you have to laugh the way she is whining to you. She obviously thinks you are going to believe she is the victim! Is it funny when a bio misses her third court appearence because she is "sick". No, but you learn to laugh when the General Magistrate looks around the room and says, "Well thats convienient. Make sure we send her a get well card!" So you learn to laugh. Unfortunatly, you learn to make some new friends. Other foster parents who will laugh with you because otherwise people are going to think you are strange. :) We laugh, we pray and we hope. Thats our secret.
I have done a lot of posts on being a foster parent. I want other people to be foster parents. Especially Christians. I want people to love these children unconditionally. I dont want to think I have to save them all. I want to think that there are others out there like me who just want to win the lottery so they can buy a couple of busses and a big house with a lot of land. I decided to give you guys reality here.
I wanted you to know that sometimes they will call you at 10:30pm to take a child for a day or two, leave him with you for a month, and then one day out of the blue call and say you have half an hour to get him ready because he is going home. Your husband and your children in school wont even be able to tell him goodbye. You wont be able to understand why, despite the horror stories you have heard from his worker, his Guardian Ad Litem, and his assesment worker, he is going back to the hell he came from.
I want you to know that sometimes they will come and take the sweetest little blond curly headed girl home only to put her back in care six months later with a haunted look in her eyes, that was not there when she left your house.
I want you to know that you will have some workers who care more about getting their papers signed than about listening to your concerns or answering questions about the children.
I want you to know that it is worth every hassle you go through. Every scream of fustration that leaves your mouth. Every tear you cry! There is nothing in life quiet as fufilling as to know that you could be the love and support and encouragement that a child might never have had. That you can be a child's safe harbor even if only for a little while. To teach a child the Jesus loves him and will never leave him is a gift in and of itself. To teach that to a child that will find himself alone and hurting again and again..is a miracle.
Thank you God for giving me this privalege!
Fosterparents.com is the best place for resources on how you can become a foster parent that I have found. I will add some more foster parent links after I go through my files to see what I have.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Busy...
So as you can see I have been busy. Check out the links and my counter is back. I am also going to be adding some links to websites I frequent as well. Im in the process of learning some more HTML stuff so I can jump out of the blogger niche and find my own way in the blog world. If your link is not to the side and your feelings are hurt let me know. I did not intentionally leave anyone out by my eyes were quiet blurred after awhile! :O)
Okey dokey! Will write a real post later!
Okey dokey! Will write a real post later!
The Government and Your Children
Over at Crystal's place they are having a discussion about parental rights and the government. A lot of this was based on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals decision earlier. Somehow (and I was not responsible for this!!) :) we got on the subject of the government taking children from their parents. I dont have time to go into much detail. But Mrs. B left me a comment under an earlier post asking for some info. If you scroll through my archives there are quiet a few entries on my life as a foster parent but I will definatly post some more and will give you some info Mrs. B. Meanwhile if you have not checked out the post from Crystal and all the comments go ahead and head over there now. It is scary to think of how easy it is for someone to accuse you of abuse. This Old School House magazine had an article in their last edition about what to do if CPS comes to your house. Scary! I will be back later tonight or tomorrow to post more in depth on this.
On a lighter note with all of the children home today due to illness we settled down to watch Loves Enduring Promise. The second movie based on the Love Comes Softly series of books by Janette Oke. I love these books and plan to own them some day but for now the library has to be content to let me check them out ALL the time. :) I definatly like the books more than the movies but enjoyed watching the movies as well. I just wanted to say my eight year old cried and cried at the end of the movie. Of course this made the five year old cry. When I asked the five year old why she was crying she said it was because her sister was crying. It was sweet. I love that I have little girls that will cry when they watch movies. I was gonna bust out some Little House On the Prarie movies next but think instead we may watch the first couple of Anne of Green Gables movies.
Ok Im off to wash some more dishes. The sink is not completly fixed yet but we can use it! YIPEE!
On a lighter note with all of the children home today due to illness we settled down to watch Loves Enduring Promise. The second movie based on the Love Comes Softly series of books by Janette Oke. I love these books and plan to own them some day but for now the library has to be content to let me check them out ALL the time. :) I definatly like the books more than the movies but enjoyed watching the movies as well. I just wanted to say my eight year old cried and cried at the end of the movie. Of course this made the five year old cry. When I asked the five year old why she was crying she said it was because her sister was crying. It was sweet. I love that I have little girls that will cry when they watch movies. I was gonna bust out some Little House On the Prarie movies next but think instead we may watch the first couple of Anne of Green Gables movies.
Ok Im off to wash some more dishes. The sink is not completly fixed yet but we can use it! YIPEE!
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Is this a real peanuts character?
I dont remember this guy! Anyway..cute quiz.
You are Franklin!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Franklin!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Not much going on here...
We are all on the road to recovery from a bad bout with the infamous head colds. Our kitchen sink is backed up and dishes are piling up. I wanted to do them in the bathtub but hubby said, "EWWWW!" so thats out. He said he does not want the dishes anywhere near the bathroom. Maybe I can take them outside and do them in a bucket? He is going to try to get an auger and get rid of the clog himself. My mom paid a plumber 125.00 to use an auger, we found them for about 18.00. Hubby has used one before so he is pretty confident that there should be no problems. The children seem to be doing well, though the two year old gave us a scare. He fell down at grandma's and hurt his wrist, though he is doing better now, but I thought for sure it would be my first trip to the ER with a child. My five year old seems to get sick quicker than anyone else in the house. She has missed a lot of school it seems like but she is always the first to catch anything going around. In perspective she has not really missed that much school but more than I think is normal. I cant send her to school sick though! Im just not that kind of momma. In my house when you are sick enough to put yourself to bed you get 5 star hotel treatment. I hate it when one of my children are sick, I suffer right along with them. The two year old woke up in the middle of the night crying and coughing. I ended up setting up the play pen in our room and letting him sleep close by. It turned out to be a good thing because his blanket kept getting twisted up and all mommy had to do to make him feel better was fix the blankie and stroke his sweet face.
Ok well I am off to lysol the house...again..and change bed sheets..again...
What can I say I love being a mommy! In sickness and in health!
Ok well I am off to lysol the house...again..and change bed sheets..again...
What can I say I love being a mommy! In sickness and in health!
Saturday, November 5, 2005
Salt, light and school!
Ahh.. right now my children are involved in what we like to call the great library book roundup. They have a central location to keep their books BUT that rarely happens... so one day I announce Library day..which consequently falls every Thursday and there is a mad dash for books. You see if you have all your books in you book bag then you get to check out a video or dvd from the library. If not..well then you don't. Today I have three that will get this privilege it looks like. Hmm... one day maybe they all will!
Anyways, so the other day I was wondering about teaching your children to be salt and light to the world while still sheltering and protecting them. Dh and I participate in a group that goes to a homeless shelter once a month. It is a Christian shelter and we have a time of praise and worship with the people and then one of our men brings a sermon. Then we serve the men dinner. Now we leave our two year old little boy with my mom because we would spend more time watching him then serving and we leave our just turned four year old little girl at home because she is very touchy, feely and this is not appropriate for the men's homeless shelter. We take our five year old girl and almost five year old boy and our eight year old girl with strict rules that they stay right by our side. The children absolutely love it. As a matter of fact after we did it the first time they played, "feeding the homeless" almost everyday. My five year old prays every night that God would take care of the homeless people. They are definitely learning something.
Now as an aside I have to tell you a funny (to me) story. We have someone that we know that when they found out we would be homeschooling and some other convictions we have on raising children admonished us to not shelter them. They needed life experience. This same person when they found out we were taking our older children to the homeless shelter with us had a coniption fit. They literally lectured me for half an hour on why we should protect our children from such influences. ?!?!?!? is all I have to say to that!
Other ways we are going to teach our children to minister is through our neighbors. I am planning starting in the new year to take some food/baked goods to one new neighbor a month. We also want to open our home to our neighbors and really just try to witness to them through friendship and fellowship and relationship. After all Jesus was all the time eating dinner with the sinners! :) We also have some other things we are cooking up. One thing we are sure of though is that our children will be really sheltered. There is no reason we should send our children out to fight battles that we as adults cant quiet handle yet. God has entrusted them to us for a reason. All to quickly they will be grown and gone. We have to take time now to really train them and saturate them in God's word.
Now onto my newest school dilemma..as they come fast and furious around here! So..we decided that we would probably leave our kindergarten in school to finish out the year. She seemed to be doing well and we saw no issues that had arisen. Fast forward to the last few weeks. She brings home a report card that said she needed help at home in everything, she needs reinforcement at home with her school work, she doesn't know her letters or her numbers and her writing needs help. I just stared at this thing. Up until now we had no idea there was a problem. I talk to her teacher every day in the carpool lane. Every paper she has ever brought home says, "Good work!" at the top. I help her with her homework every night. We read together all the time. She is writing as well as I could expect any five year old to write. Were they supposed to just know how to write? She knows her numbers just fine at home. She still gets confused with some letters but she has only been working on them for a year! I was not happy at all that it took the teacher 9 weeks and then on a report card to tell me there was a problem! Then my sweet angel girl comes home from school the other day and tells me they were playing vampire on the playground and one of her classmates stole her soul! These are five year olds! Now my second grader bought home a report card that was semi-bad. She got one D in...language which I assume is grammar. My problem here is all of her grammar papers she has brought home have been between 75-95%. I thought she was doing..ok. Her spelling was a C- once again all of her spelling tests except maybe two or three have been 90% or above. Her math which she has only brought home a couple of good math papers was a solid C and her reading which her teacher always complains to me about was a B. Forgive me for being confused!
This week beat all though. Let me first explain the "color" system that schools are using now. You start the day on a "good" color, which for both of my girls is yellow. If you misbehave you go to the next color which for us is green. After that you go to blue. KA has seen blue twice I think. I don't know the colors after that because my girls know they better never hit those colors. :) The teachers have consequences for the colors, but I don't know completely what they are. In our house green once or twice a week is a uh-oh I messed up with a talk on how we can do better. More than twice you loose a privilege. Blue is well...blue is homework, dinner, and bed with no free time. After blue daddy takes over because all mommy sees is red. LOL just kidding. Like I said we don't know what happens after blue..yet. Anyways KA comes home from school one day last week on green. When I asked her why she told me she was not reading with the class. Apparently they have this "game" called Fluency. The teacher reads part of a text and then snaps her fingers and the class reads on as fast as they can. No offense but this sounds like the second dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Second only to when your adding and subtracting you bonk yourself in the forehead to "put" the big number in your head. YES this is something my second grader is TAUGHT in school. *Sigh*. Anyways when the teacher snapped her fingers and 20 second graders took off babbling incoherently my second grader lost her place and sat back quietly to listen to the chaos around her. The teacher noticed she was not reading and instead of trying to figure out why yells across the room for her to flip her card since she is not reading. Oh, flip your card means put it on green. As the smoke poured out of my ears all I heard was, "Hey stupid! Since you cant keep up with the rest of the class you are now punished." Are these the words she said? No, but they could have been. Now for those who know me you KNOW I am NOT a parent who believes my children do no wrong. Come on I am with them 24/7 I KNOW they misbehave..BUT this is not a behavioral problem. This is an academic "I cant keep up with the babbling incoherently around me" problem.
I have had enough. I NEVER thought school would be this emotionally draining for me. I knew it would be rough and I would pray a lot but I never knew I would cry over the innocence my children are loosing at such a young age. I never thought I would physically want to ring a teachers neck. Not this early in the game! Our adoption does not seem to be progressing at all we have not heard from anyone in... well in forever! I just want my babies home where I can love, nurture, guide, and teach them. I dont want them on the playground where a little girl steals there soul or they play witches and warlocks. I don't want them getting in trouble because they don't understand something or making a simple kindergarten mistake and writing a d instead of a b and the teacher start looking for learning disabilities. Im so frustrated. Im quickly loosing my sense of humor and once that is gone...well it wont be pretty. Im so glad that hubby has agreed no more school agers for us at this point. This is one area of life Im not ready to deal with yet. Right now Im just asking God for the strength to get me through to the adoption.
Ok well this is long enough. Thanks for letting me vent some!
Anyways, so the other day I was wondering about teaching your children to be salt and light to the world while still sheltering and protecting them. Dh and I participate in a group that goes to a homeless shelter once a month. It is a Christian shelter and we have a time of praise and worship with the people and then one of our men brings a sermon. Then we serve the men dinner. Now we leave our two year old little boy with my mom because we would spend more time watching him then serving and we leave our just turned four year old little girl at home because she is very touchy, feely and this is not appropriate for the men's homeless shelter. We take our five year old girl and almost five year old boy and our eight year old girl with strict rules that they stay right by our side. The children absolutely love it. As a matter of fact after we did it the first time they played, "feeding the homeless" almost everyday. My five year old prays every night that God would take care of the homeless people. They are definitely learning something.
Now as an aside I have to tell you a funny (to me) story. We have someone that we know that when they found out we would be homeschooling and some other convictions we have on raising children admonished us to not shelter them. They needed life experience. This same person when they found out we were taking our older children to the homeless shelter with us had a coniption fit. They literally lectured me for half an hour on why we should protect our children from such influences. ?!?!?!? is all I have to say to that!
Other ways we are going to teach our children to minister is through our neighbors. I am planning starting in the new year to take some food/baked goods to one new neighbor a month. We also want to open our home to our neighbors and really just try to witness to them through friendship and fellowship and relationship. After all Jesus was all the time eating dinner with the sinners! :) We also have some other things we are cooking up. One thing we are sure of though is that our children will be really sheltered. There is no reason we should send our children out to fight battles that we as adults cant quiet handle yet. God has entrusted them to us for a reason. All to quickly they will be grown and gone. We have to take time now to really train them and saturate them in God's word.
Now onto my newest school dilemma..as they come fast and furious around here! So..we decided that we would probably leave our kindergarten in school to finish out the year. She seemed to be doing well and we saw no issues that had arisen. Fast forward to the last few weeks. She brings home a report card that said she needed help at home in everything, she needs reinforcement at home with her school work, she doesn't know her letters or her numbers and her writing needs help. I just stared at this thing. Up until now we had no idea there was a problem. I talk to her teacher every day in the carpool lane. Every paper she has ever brought home says, "Good work!" at the top. I help her with her homework every night. We read together all the time. She is writing as well as I could expect any five year old to write. Were they supposed to just know how to write? She knows her numbers just fine at home. She still gets confused with some letters but she has only been working on them for a year! I was not happy at all that it took the teacher 9 weeks and then on a report card to tell me there was a problem! Then my sweet angel girl comes home from school the other day and tells me they were playing vampire on the playground and one of her classmates stole her soul! These are five year olds! Now my second grader bought home a report card that was semi-bad. She got one D in...language which I assume is grammar. My problem here is all of her grammar papers she has brought home have been between 75-95%. I thought she was doing..ok. Her spelling was a C- once again all of her spelling tests except maybe two or three have been 90% or above. Her math which she has only brought home a couple of good math papers was a solid C and her reading which her teacher always complains to me about was a B. Forgive me for being confused!
This week beat all though. Let me first explain the "color" system that schools are using now. You start the day on a "good" color, which for both of my girls is yellow. If you misbehave you go to the next color which for us is green. After that you go to blue. KA has seen blue twice I think. I don't know the colors after that because my girls know they better never hit those colors. :) The teachers have consequences for the colors, but I don't know completely what they are. In our house green once or twice a week is a uh-oh I messed up with a talk on how we can do better. More than twice you loose a privilege. Blue is well...blue is homework, dinner, and bed with no free time. After blue daddy takes over because all mommy sees is red. LOL just kidding. Like I said we don't know what happens after blue..yet. Anyways KA comes home from school one day last week on green. When I asked her why she told me she was not reading with the class. Apparently they have this "game" called Fluency. The teacher reads part of a text and then snaps her fingers and the class reads on as fast as they can. No offense but this sounds like the second dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Second only to when your adding and subtracting you bonk yourself in the forehead to "put" the big number in your head. YES this is something my second grader is TAUGHT in school. *Sigh*. Anyways when the teacher snapped her fingers and 20 second graders took off babbling incoherently my second grader lost her place and sat back quietly to listen to the chaos around her. The teacher noticed she was not reading and instead of trying to figure out why yells across the room for her to flip her card since she is not reading. Oh, flip your card means put it on green. As the smoke poured out of my ears all I heard was, "Hey stupid! Since you cant keep up with the rest of the class you are now punished." Are these the words she said? No, but they could have been. Now for those who know me you KNOW I am NOT a parent who believes my children do no wrong. Come on I am with them 24/7 I KNOW they misbehave..BUT this is not a behavioral problem. This is an academic "I cant keep up with the babbling incoherently around me" problem.
I have had enough. I NEVER thought school would be this emotionally draining for me. I knew it would be rough and I would pray a lot but I never knew I would cry over the innocence my children are loosing at such a young age. I never thought I would physically want to ring a teachers neck. Not this early in the game! Our adoption does not seem to be progressing at all we have not heard from anyone in... well in forever! I just want my babies home where I can love, nurture, guide, and teach them. I dont want them on the playground where a little girl steals there soul or they play witches and warlocks. I don't want them getting in trouble because they don't understand something or making a simple kindergarten mistake and writing a d instead of a b and the teacher start looking for learning disabilities. Im so frustrated. Im quickly loosing my sense of humor and once that is gone...well it wont be pretty. Im so glad that hubby has agreed no more school agers for us at this point. This is one area of life Im not ready to deal with yet. Right now Im just asking God for the strength to get me through to the adoption.
Ok well this is long enough. Thanks for letting me vent some!
Friday, November 4, 2005
Just a quick post...
To say I am still here. I will be blogging later on today about things we do to teach our children to be salt and light to the world. Also reason number one million and twenty two I will be taking my children out of school before the ink is dry on the adoption papers! Gotta come back for this.... Im sure you will be baffled!
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
100 Posts
Ok so I thought for my 100th post I would do something different. I changed my blog face. Dont know how long this will last. Im going to stick with it a few days before I add my counter and links.
I liked the harbor picture because isnt that what our homes should be a safe harbor? Should not our husbands expect gentleness and patience and kind words and warm hearts when they enter here from a long hard day amongst the world? Shouldnt our children be greeted with smiles and kisses when the awake or when they trudge home from school? I am learning (and none too quickly)that my family needs order and rest. They need a clean house and nice smells and healthy dinners. They need songs and dancing and reading and laughter. Oh how happy they are when I pass out wet rags and turn on the music and order everyone to just clean everything in sight. Are there streaks on the windows? wet spots on the carpet? cats running from wet rags? Yes! Are my children laughing, giggling, and learning how much fun it is to clean? YES! YES! YES!
My prayer for the past month and on into the coming months is this:
Father, show me how to lead by example with my children. Show me how to make my home a safe haven from the world for my family. May this family be on fire for You and Your word. May we not stray from the path you have set us on. Help us to be a light to the world. A city set on a hill which can not be hidden. AMEN!
I liked the harbor picture because isnt that what our homes should be a safe harbor? Should not our husbands expect gentleness and patience and kind words and warm hearts when they enter here from a long hard day amongst the world? Shouldnt our children be greeted with smiles and kisses when the awake or when they trudge home from school? I am learning (and none too quickly)that my family needs order and rest. They need a clean house and nice smells and healthy dinners. They need songs and dancing and reading and laughter. Oh how happy they are when I pass out wet rags and turn on the music and order everyone to just clean everything in sight. Are there streaks on the windows? wet spots on the carpet? cats running from wet rags? Yes! Are my children laughing, giggling, and learning how much fun it is to clean? YES! YES! YES!
My prayer for the past month and on into the coming months is this:
Father, show me how to lead by example with my children. Show me how to make my home a safe haven from the world for my family. May this family be on fire for You and Your word. May we not stray from the path you have set us on. Help us to be a light to the world. A city set on a hill which can not be hidden. AMEN!
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