Random thoughts about family size

When I was a young girl I knew I wanted to grow up, get married, have lots of babies and stay home. Sometime around my highschool/college years I decided I wanted to homeschool them. I always have other careers lined up for when people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. In my heart though, I knew, I wanted a family. I don't remember when exactly, but I did at one point decide I wanted 10 children. People, mostly my family who knew me all too well, scoffed. I actually have one aunt who loves to tell me how amazed she is at the responsible person I turned out to be. LOL I was just not a responsible hard working child. I was not. People are always commenting on what great people we are for adopting all these kids. Should I tell them it was all part of my plan? LOL Don't get me wrong I KNOW it was all God's plan, but well, I had to get the desire from someplace right?? I was so excited to find out that Lily was on her way. You see, we have run into some issues that might mean we never step onto that adoption train again. I'm not writing that in stone because God is truly the author of our story, but we would definitely pray long and hard about it. It's always been in the back of my mind that I would not mind adopting again, but it would be with much caution. The fun part was the fact that everyone was so accepting and excited about our pregnancy. I remember at one point looking at my DH and telling him that if we ever found we were expecting again we should be prepared for some reservations from some people. No, I'm not expecting right now, but it's never far from my thoughts. I hear some sad, sad stories from some of my friends online. People who are afraid to even tell grandparents because of the reaction they usually get. Grandparents. That is so sad. While, my mom might not necessarily agree with our decision regarding family size she has never been anything less than thrilled to welcome another grandchild. I would love to have another baby. I think that we will someday. God gave me Gideon's name for a reason. I have some other girl names I would love to use as well. A boy or two after Gideon would have some fantastic names from my list. :) I'll admit part of me really hopes that God waits until Roy has a job. Then, he did provide so that we had minimal debt from Lily's birth. We are still paying for her birth, but God has provided. A big part of me would love to see Roy get a good job soon and God bless us again soon after. Jonathan is 4.5 years older than Lily I would really love for her to have some closer in age siblings. Plus as hard as it is I think it's cute to see two or three little people around the same age running around together. LOL, yes, I do have everything together so well that I think three or four kids under age five would be fun. Right. Not fun. Cute. :) Well, I guess I will close the random file for tonight. Be Blessed!!