Our family and youth group

From their earliest ages we have kept our children with us in church. We have taught them how to be respectful by listening quietly and sitting still. Yes, during the toddler days we had to take them out a few times to show them we meant business but it was only a few times. We searched the scriptures and could not find any instruction for Children's Church. As a matter of fact all we could find was families being taught together. That sealed the deal for us, since God's word is our instruction manual for life we decided that our children would worship with us.

We were uncomfortable with youth groups as well. We could not find the purpose in them. We prayed and prayed and searched the scriptures some more. Nothing on youth groups. In fact it looked like young men and women were expected to begin acting like adults. Hmm.. we began to think when our oldest was about 10 that we would probably forgo the youth group as well. Around the time we made that decision I read about this guy and his book.

This was it, everything I wanted to say but could not find the words for. When DH read it he asked if Pastor Baucham had a recording device in our room listening to our words of late. He'd echoed so many of our thoughts.

Recently in our church a new youth group began. My oldest is 13 and in 6th grade now. We were approached a few times with encouragement for her to attend. We really, really thought about letting her try because we trust the leaders. In the end we were not comfortable with it. Then we saw this video. I also had a conversation with a mother who'd homeschooled and let her kids go to youth group. She said her kids were strong in their faith and growing so much that she let them go to the church youth group. She said her youngest who just graduated is the only one still living a life of faith and going to church. She said by the time she saw the damage in her older children she only had time to pull her youngest out for the last few years. Once again our conviction was confirmed.

No, I don't think every child who goes to youth group will wander away. I did not. The argument that slays me is when people tell me that because my kids are not in youth group/children's church they will probably rebel. Really? So, if my kids are in these programs you promise they won't rebel? Sorry, I don't buy that.

If God does not instruct us in youth group why do we think we need to rework God's plan. Plan A (God's plan) so let's revamp it and call it Plan B (Youth Group). We know kids today and they need this.

Not my kids.

Be Blessed!

When your floundering

Before I start this post I just wanted to tell you that the pictures are of my little Jonathan. He just turned 5. He is growing up so much!!
I know I was supposed to come back last week with menus. I was hoping it would jump start me back into blogging. Not so much. Things kept coming up that kept me too busy to get back here. Mostly things that are opening my eyes up more and more to the need to get back to basics around here. When I started this journey so many years ago now, I had passion and vision. I believed in myself and God. I just knew that I could accomplish great things in my home. I knew where I was headed.

I still believe in God and slowly but surely I am clawing my way back to where I left Him. I don't know if that's the right wording. I still believe that God is totally in control and will provide all my needs! I have faith, but as I said before that faith is weak. I am climbing back to that place where I had passion and purpose and vision. I keep slipping and sliding backwards but I KNOW that I am headed in the right direction. I am climbing into His arms for a time of regrouping.

As I reflected this year on how much I wanted pure beauty in my life and in my home I realized I need to start with simplicity. I have to simplify my life more. I need to get rid of the clutter, physically and mentally, that is clogging up my life. Robbing me of being able to focus on the important things in life.

My vision of a rigorous Classical Education for my kids is being put aside for a simpler, gentle Charlotte Mason type education for my kids.

My vision of a great organized home is being replaced with a clean, efficient home. One that is simple and neat and peaceful.

My vision of the perfect family with obedient ,compliant children all the time is being replaced with a family that loves together, laughs together, and lives together. Not that I won't expect obedience but maybe a little less tightly controlled in some areas.

I'm letting go. I'm going to stop floundering and start floating.

Be Blessed!

Lily's Journey to our family

Sarah noticed that it took 9 years for our family to be blessed with a biological child. She wondered about what we did to conceive this baby. In one word, Faith! I knew God had promised a baby to us. I still think he promised a little boy so we have at least one more on the way. :) In the meantime we kept busy bringing in the children who did not have a home. We both believed that this was God's way of kick starting our family. Lily Grace is so blessed to have such wonderful, loving brothers and sisters.

I cried out to God over and over for a baby born of our love. My husband told me over and over that he could not find one time in scripture that this prayer was not honored. Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth.. to name a few. We both continued to pray.

At one time we did see a fertility specialist. I was diagnosed with PCOS with that diagnosis came Diabetes testing. I was started on oral meds to control my blood sugar. We did not pursue further fertility appointments. We decided to just go with the flow. Around that time we decided to become foster parents. Then we started getting kids who were coming up for adoption. Before we knew it we had five kids to call our own. It would be four more years before Lily entered the picture.

At the time that Lily was conceived I had started a new diet. I was eating a more whole foods diet. Healthy fats that others said were harmful, coconut oil, whole milk (raw when we could get it), real butter, olive oil. Whole grains like brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bread, and oatmeal. Also we were not eating hardly any processed foods. I had lost about 12 pounds. My primary care Dr. upped some of my oral medication because my blood sugar was still a little high but my blood tests were coming back great. Almost as if I did not have high blood sugar. I felt pretty good and was exercising.

On December 23 I took a pregnancy test on a whim. I'd been tired and my blood sugar was shooting up for no reason. I thought it was the stress of loosing my papa and MIL in just a few short months. Looking back I do remember not being able to eat any of the freezer meals we'd prepared because they all had chicken. I thought it was just some type of freezer burn or something though the rest of my family said there was nothing wrong with the food. I was not sick. I'd had some light bleeding throughout the months but with PCOS sometimes you skip a month here and there so I thought nothing of it.

The pregnancy test was pure whim. LOL When the two pink lines appeared I fell apart. When your used to one pink line it's a little disconcerting when the second one appears. I don't think I will ever forget that feeling.

I made it into the OB on January 7th I think. That's when we heard her heart beat. He also gave me a EDD of July since we had no idea when I'd gotten pregnant. He sent me to a high risk OB for sonograms. On January 20th the sweet sonogram tech said, "Oh there is too much baby here for July. Your going to have this baby in June." She then asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. I knew it was a boy. That's what God had promised. Nope, the sonogram tech said, "It's a precious baby girl!"

On June 18th Lily Grace joined our family and it has not been the same since!

Be Blessed!

Lily Grace's Birth Story

I have been working on this post for weeks now! Weeks! Hard to type when my hands are always so busy. But, oh, how much I love it!! This is our first picture with all three of us!

After praying all week to go into labor naturally, my water broke at 2:15am Friday June 18. Even though I kept telling people all week that I was going to have my baby on Friday, I did not have my bag packed, her bag packed or the car seat ready to go. Thankfully, even though my water broke I was not experiencing contractions or other problems. By 3:30am we were walking out the door.

One last picture before we go. See, I told you I was getting huge! Roy was so excited. I was just nervous. Of course it was also at this moment that I realized my plan was to do laundry all day on Friday so the kids would have clothes to wear while I was in the hospital. Thanks to my wonderful friends and mom who put together outfits for them all.

Oh yeah.. I forgot to put gas in the car after running all of my errands on Thursday. Roy was so nervous he pressed the buttons to fast and actually had to go in and pay. He was not happy. I was just walking around the car. Still no contractions.

This picture is just for posterity. This was right after she was born. Lovely picture.LOL

At the hospital we were informed that our birth plan had been completely changed. I would be on a glucose and insulin drip during labor, I would be on pitocin, and fluids. We finally agreed to a low dose of pitocin because contractions were still very very mild.

This was the next day. Roy was beat. He stayed with me the whole time.

I did manage to labor with no epidural until about 1pm. I was at 6cm and they wanted to up the Pitocin some more because of the slow progression. I knew if they upped the Pitocin I would pass out. The contractions were already so bad that I spent ALL of my energy trying to relax. Plus, the contractions were in a weird place. I felt them in the very tops of my legs. No matter what position I tried I could not relax that part of my body enough to deal with the pain.

The look of pure relief on Roy's face when I consented to the epidural made it worth it.

My blood sugar stayed pretty stable throughout labor. I think it went to 148 once while I was pushing. If it stayed between 80 and 100 they did not have to do insulin or glucose. I think they only administered the insulin twice and the glucose three times.

I labored well for another five or six hours. When my nurse came into to check me I was at 8cm and then she said something horrible. I was swelling on one side. She said if she told Dr. B then he would start prepping me for a c-section. She finally decided to tell him that I was progressed another 1/2cm. She then laid the bed flat and turned me on my right side.

I remember tears pouring down my face as I cried out to God. Friends came in a prayed. The pain was becoming unbearable but I welcomed it because I was praying that the contractions were working.

Nurse Kim, then brought in her replacement Nurse Becky and told me she'd hand picked her just for me. When Nurse Becky checked me a little later I was at 9 1/2 and ready to push. It was 8pm.

The first few pushes weren't so bad. Although, the epidural was only working in my legs at that point. The anesthesiologist was called in at one point and asked to administer some morphine. I remember that all very vaguely. I do remember staring at him and thanking him. LOL

I pushed and pushed and pushed. I remember Dr. B finally coming in. I looked at him and said, "Hi!"

Here's where the story gets funny.

I'd been pushing and only grunting a few times. I thought I was doing pretty good. Dr. B does not do episiotomies. At the time he told us that we thought that was amazing. So shocked that we did not ask him how he avoids them.

When he did the perinium massage I screamed and might have actually stood up on the bed.

Yeah, he thought I was more numb than I was.

He was so shocked that he actually got onto me. I missed a whole contraction while he explained very sternly that I needed to get control. (Just know he's still my fave!! He made up for it later)

This is Nurse Kim. The nurse I told you about earlier. Isn't she beautiful? I LOVE her.
I pushed some more and then, THEN! they told me to stop pushing b/c the Dr did not have his scrubs on yet. OH yeah, the top of my baby's head was sticking out and my contractions were constant! I remember begging Dr. B to help me. He kept telling me he was coming. The next thing I knew he was above me and my baby was slipping out. I felt the head, the shoulders, then she was on my stomach and he was beaming like a proud papa.

It was later described as a frantic birth. Once she started coming she was coming. LOL

Stuff was knocked over in the haste to get his scrubs on. His hat and shoe coverings were actually tossed to the other side of the room before he could get those on.

The best part was when they announced that my baby was 7 pounds 1oz. Dr. B turned slowly towards the nurse and in disbelief asked her to repeat. She did.

Then he turned back to me with a huge grin and kept saying, "Your my hero!" He then told everyone in the room about my diabetic journey. LOL

I asked him why he ever doubted me! :)

After the room was cleared out and Roy had gone to get our family waiting in the waiting room Dr. B came back in and gave me a hug as we admired my new baby. He then apologized for getting on to me and told me I was still his favorite patient. He waxed on admiringly for a few minutes about what a great job I'd done during the whole pregnancy. It was pretty sweet.

We had a pretty uneventful stay. Though the next day they informed me that they thought Lily had an infection and wanted to start antibiotics. They took her to the nursery to get the IV in and two hours later they were still trying to get a vein. When they brought her back in to me she looked at me wide eyed and breathed a little sigh before snuggling in and sleeping for three hours.

All in all I think it was a pretty positive experience. The hospital was great and my nurses were the BEST! I loved them. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear but it healed up nicely in just a couple of weeks. I was in some pain but I was able to get up and move around about an hour after birth with no problems.

Lily ended up with Jaundice. They started talking about all the treatment options, but I knew if I could just get out of the hospital and to my holistic pediatrician it would be ok. I knew she would just have me nurse, nurse, nurse.

Her levels continued to go up but they did discharge us because I had an appointment with her pediatrician the next day. And of course she had me nurse, nurse, nurse and her levels went straight down!

Breastfeeding went well and is still going great. I had some issues the day my milk came in. Bad enough that Roy went to Walmart at 11:3opm and got a manual pump. I pumped it out for a day and she ate from a medicine dropper. After that I only used the pump to get the milk started for one day and then after that she has been a pro.

She is a wonderful baby. A true gift from God. I just can't believe how blessed I am. I still get a little teary eyed when I look at her.

Thank you all for your prayers. I am convinced she is such a healthy, happy baby because of all of your prayers. Our God is an awesome God.

Here it all is finally! Sorry I have been away so long. She is a month old now. :)

Be Blessed!

Oh yeah, about that...

Today in my devotional time I was really convicted about something. Mainly about my relationship with my kids these last few weeks. Everyone has reassured me it's hormonal, but looking back I think it's just an excuse to escalate my bad attitude. I mean, there has to come a point I stop blaming Lily for everything, right? :)
Anyway, back to my relationship with my kids. It's been rough. I get to the point where I can't stand to hear them. They talk to me and I glare at them. They run around the house playing and I yell at them to STOP! It's pretty ridiculous. I mean, really, why would any of my kids want to have babies if this is what it looks like?!

So today I wrote one short prayer in my prayer journal. Lord, help me to LOVE my children. Help me to have a better relationship with them. Heal all the hurt I have caused.

I also wrote down three expectations for myself. These I came up with while I was showering and thinking. Because, you know mamas, sometimes that quick shower in the morning is the only thinking time we have. :)

* I need to let go of my "Ideal". When you go into motherhood, at least for me, you have this ideal of what it is going to look like. I think for too many years I have strived for this ideal and when it did not happen I got frustrated. Frustrated with myself, frustrated with my children, dare I say it? Frustrated with God. But see my ideal does not work for my family. For starters my kids came with some pretty heavy emotional baggage that they are still struggling with. Second, after having kids I realized just what a selfish, sinner I really was. I don't always want to die to myself everyday so these kids can have what they want/need from me.

*I need to let go of control and learn better how to guide. Another thing I realized after God brought these kids into my life. I am a control FREAK! No lie! I am also paranoid as all get out. It does not bode well for my children. They have to look at least 17 times before they cross the street. And that's for my 10 and 13yos who are actually allowed to cross the street by themselves. :) Maybe I exaggerate a bit much. ;) But seriously, my kids are getting a little older. It is time to let them make some mistakes. I would rather they make the mistakes now while I am here to help clean up then when they are far away from me and need good guidance. SO I need to learn how to guide them through making the tough decisions and stop making the choices for them all the time. I do believe what I told our 13yo the other day. God gave her a mom and dad to know all about the scary stuff in the world and to make rules to keep her safe so she does not have to deal with it all right now. I am by no means ready to throw them to the wolves or let them out from under the umbrella of protection, but I could do a little better in letting them take the lead.

*I need to let God paint the picture of our family. This goes with one and two a lot. Everyone has a picture of what they want their family to look like. Mine resembled some Little House on the Prairie fantasy. My reality is more like the Simpsons. I need to realize that while God has put me here to mold and shape these kids, I need to make sure I am molding and shaping them into what he wants and not so much what I want.

It's a long road and one that I am sure I will have to spend much time repenting and relearning as I go, but it's enough for now that I can see these areas in my life that need taming. I just pray for wisdom and discernment on this path, because we only get this one day to live. Tomorrow is not promised. Tomorrow my 13yo will be 21 and I will be watching the fruit I produced in her life begin to ripen or rot. I will cover her and all of my children in prayer. I will pray for God to show me how to raise them. How to let go of my wants and desires and bend to His will for these kids. I pray for his mercy and grace to cover up the failures and let the kids only see that I love them enough to try. Maybe not cover up as much as minimize the effect they have on them.

That's my prayer.

Be Blessed!

The Empty Womb

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. Psalm 113:9

This verse has ALWAYS brought me such comfort. It has also reminded me of God's promises. As I look around at my wonderful children I realize I am the woman that verse speaks of! I am the barren woman who keeps the home and is the joyful mother of children. Only now He has blessed me AGAIN! This time by taking my barren womb and creating life. What an awesome God He is.

I know the infertility is a struggle for so many women. I know the longing of an empty womb. The Bible even tell us in Proverbs 30 that a barren womb is one of the things that will never be satisfied or say, "It is enough".

I have changed my diet radically over the past few years. Moving away from processed foods to more Whole/Real food options. Cutting out white sugars, pastas, rice, breads.. moving towards whole grain options.

I did find out that high blood sugar is a big cause of infertility. It creates a not so inviting environment for sp*rm.

I am not 100% sure why God chose this season for our blessing. I do know that He has perfect timing. I am so very grateful to be able to share that God does indeed hear our prayers and is faithful to answer them.

I remember Roy pointing out at one point when I was struggling with being "broken" as a woman, that he could not think of one time in the Bible that a woman cried out to God for a baby and her prayer was not answered. I clung to that hope.

I am so very blessed to be able to share our journey with others. I hope our story in some way blesses you. I am praying for you dear sister with an empty womb. I am praying for your arms to be filled and for God to give you peace in this season of your life. I pray that you are encouraged by my story. That you will not give up praying to God, the creator of Life. Maybe His answer will be different than you want, but He is perfect. He always has our best in mind.

Be Blessed!!

Overwhelmed

With the weeks going by so quickly (hello, April? April? Where did you go?) and the approach of my baby's birthday even closer I have thought back on the past few months a lot. Mainly because it has been such a time of mixed emotions for me. Joy, rapture, anticipation, worry, anxiety, overwhelmingness, doubt, fear....

Ever since that day on Christmas Eve I have wondered if I will truly hold this baby. Even now as she does flips and turns and all sorts of other gymnastics I have had the doubt. I don't know if it's the fact that I have waited so long for this, the early complications, or the hormones.

I go twice a week now for NSTs (non stress tests to monitor baby's movement and heartrate) and once a week for a quick scan to make sure fluid level, placenta, and baby movement are still good. This has offered some reassurance.

But really, where should all of my reassurance be coming from? Why is it so hard to believe that God will take care of my baby and me? Why do I struggle every day with opening my Bible? Why do I struggle with even talking to God? When I need Him so much I feel like I am just distancing myself more and more everyday! I do pick up my Bible in hopes that today will be the day that I can truly lay it all down at His feet and walk away. I do commune with Him through prayer. Though I feel like sometimes all I do is ask, ask, ask.

It's been a tough season. One that I am looking forward to looking back on and seeing the lessons I learned.

Be Blessed!

With God all things are possible

Here is a 25 week scan of Miss Lily.

I found this picture frame on sale at a discount store. I thought it was pretty and figured I would put a picture of the kids in it, for He made my family possible. When I got home I started thinking about the baby God promised us. All of sudden it became clear to me that this picture frame was for that baby. We put the empty frame on our mantle and remembered daily God's promise. A while later I was reading through the story of Mary, Elizabeth, John the Baptist and the angel. The Angel was telling Mary about her pregnant cousin Elizabeth who was called barren. He told Mary she would have a child because with God nothing is impossible. Talk about a WOW! moment.

It was a total confirmation for me. And as you can see there sits my sweet Lily. My miracle.

The best part, Lily is not even THE promised baby. That means there is another one out there for us! At least one more. YAY! :)

Be Blessed!

One Way

John 14:6 clearly says, "Jesus saith unto him, ' I am the way, the truth and the life; no man cometh unto the Father but by me."

This weekend I have had no less than three conversations where I was told by people professing to be Christians that Jesus is Lord of their lives but that does not mean He is the only way to heaven. WHAT!?!

Oh and try to bring up the above verse and I'm told it's a fallacy to try to use the Bible to prove anything. The Bible is for people who can't think for themselves. God never intended us to take it literally. WHAT!?!?

I knew people believed this junk, but I never knew anyone WHO believed it.

Brought me to a whole other verse.

Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

It's amazing though how rampant this thought was with this group of people who I believe are very intelligent. Many professing to be born again believers.

The problem is that many are letting their intelligence get in the way of their faith. Face it faith is not about being intelligent. If you rely on your intelligence to much you can hurt your faith. Faith is believing in something we can't see. If you rely on cold hard fact for your intelligence then you can't believe in something you can't see.

So, just had to get that off my chest. I know, I know I'm mainly talking to the choir. I just had to put my thoughts on "paper".

PS No I'm not saying only dumb people can be Christians. I'm saying only people who are willing to put their smarts after their faith.

For This Child..

I have prayed!
Oh how the words of Hannah's heart speak to me today.
What a blessing and a joy to be the bearer of a special person from God.
The ultrasound today was FANTASTIC! I was so pleased with the results. A few things to discuss and investigate further but most everything seemed fine.
In four weeks I go for a fetal echo cardiogram. And of course another picture of our newest blessing. I could have looked at baby all day long. :) Especially when baby waved. Awesome.
Now, for the surprises.
At my first OB appointment I was estimated to be between 10-12 weeks. Today my OB had put my estimated due date as July 26th. Imagine the joy I felt when the sonogram technician said they would have to knock some time off of my due date. A fully month. We are now looking at around June 24th. Yes, please. :) Do you realize I made it through almost the whole first trimester completely ignorant of the growing person inside of me? AMAZING!
The second surprise, floored DH and I. If you remember this post from a couple of years ago, God clearly pressed on my heart the name of a little boy. This was our promised baby. His name was straight from God. We just knew that Gideon would soon be joining our family. Well... Gideon will have to wait, because Miss Lily Grace is going to come first. A GIRL! I'm ecstatic! Have you seen how cute the baby girl clothes are?? Have you?? Of course the first thing I said was, " I don't think I can afford a girl!" LOL It was all with a smile and grin. Of course we can afford a girl. God has already planned on it. :)
How thrilled are mom and dad and sisters? The girls keep confirming her name. They are talking of dresses and pinks and purples. I see a girly explosion in our future.
How thrilled are the boys? Eh. They don't care. I for one am looking forward to watching them be big brothers to a little girl. Sounds like fun to me!
So thank you for all the prayers. Please continue to lift baby up as there is one thing we are not sure about. We are trusting God no matter what. I know that I will always have this baby girl. She is named. She is wanted. She is loved.

Be Blessed!

Trust in God.

I have always wanted to be pregnant. Always. I wanted the whole experience of carrying the baby and delivering and just the whole shebang.
This has not been easy. I'm going to be completely honest here. Keeping it real. I know there is someone else out there going through the same thing and she needs to hear she's not alone.
Tomorrow is my ultrasound. I have heard the baby's heart beat on two different occasions. That made him very real to me. That closed my mommy heart around him so completely that no matter what happens now I will always hold him close.
I made some poor decisions before I found out I was pregnant. I have had Type 2 diabetes as a complication of PCOS for about two to three years now. It's never been under control. I have taken medicine and mostly watched what I ate, but if I wanted something else I would eat it. Picture the holidays. Enough said. During the holidays meaning from October til I found out on Christmas Eve, my baby was growing vital organs. He was at one of the most important developmental stages in a baby's life. My blood sugar was shooting up like crazy. Between 200 and 300. I thought it was just me. I tried to cut back on some of my foods and kept taking my medicine to no help.
Finding out I was pregnant and reading about high blood sugar in the first few months made my blood run cold. The doubt and fear in my OBs eyes when he read my blood sugar chart made me want to cry all over again.
I trust in God. I know He is the one who knit my baby together in the womb. I know that God always does the right thing.
What troubles me is that God's right thing and my right thing don't always add up. I just have to choose to trust God's right thing. That is faith that is surely stretching me right now.
Chances are tomorrow's ultrasound will go great. I will see a tiny little baby in there still forming. Still becoming who he is going to be.
But I'm prepared to not see that as well.
I know through it all God is in control. I keep doubting my faith because I dare believe that my baby could not be ok. Because I dare to not be excited about tomorrow. But then I realize it's not really my faith I'm doubting. I do believe that God is going to do what He thinks is best. That His glory will be shown through no matter what.
Even if it's hard and I question it, I know in the end my trust will be in the author of our lives. I know that I can go to Him and cry out and be disillusioned. I know that good or bad tomorrow will be a new day. The next day will be another chance to trust in God. I will always choose to trust in God.
I know, kind of heavy for someone supposed to be rejoicing in this new life. I can't put into words how excited I am about this baby. He was promised, he was prayed for, he was dreamed of, he is so wanted. I just wanted to put out there the doubts and fears. I know someone out there needed to hear this. My prayers are with you, dear one! You are not alone.

Be Blessed!

Nows the time

Well, the big news for the New Year is that we will hopefully be welcoming a baby into our lives in the next few months. We found out on Christmas Eve, but kept pretty quiet until my OB appt yesterday. I was estimated to be about 12 weeks along. We go to a specialist next week for an ultrasound to get a little bit more positive dating.
I do have Type 2 diabetes and started insulin yesterday. At this point we are praying and believing God that He kept our little one safe through the first few months when we were not aware of his being. I am following Drs orders as closely as possible and will meet with a dietitian next week as well.
We are excited as this is truly a miracle from God. We were not expecting it, though we knew that one day God was going to grant us this blessing.
Who knew that it would be the joy we needed to end an impossible year?? God did. He is so faithful!
I am finding more and more info for diabetic mommys out there and I will definitely share what I find out.
So for now please praise God with us, for this blessing of life!

Be Blessed!

A Good Day

Ahh, a good day. Those seem to be a bit far and in between lately. LOL
So much done and I even snuck in some homeschooling. I am hoping to sneak in a little more before dinner. I pulled everything out of my pantry to reorganize it and as soon as I finish my snack I am off to do that. We were just going to have yogurt and cheese cubes for lunch, but in cleaning out my pantry I found a box of noodles and some spaghetti sauce. I added some stewed tomatoes to bulk the sauce up because lets face it one jar is not gonna feed this family. LOL Lunch was served. It sure was a lot better than yogurt and cheese cubes. :)
I have planned and replanned my shopping list and will be heading to the store early, early, early tomorrow morning. It's the shortest list I have ever seen, but thanks to Costco I don't need a whole lot. Though DH is jonesing to go back to Costco for some reason. I'm trying to put it off until we go over to that side of town next week for Christmas shopping.


Today was a beautiful day here. Sunny and breezy. If FL was always like this I could live with it. :) We took time out from our chores and school work to just go for a walk. The kids had a good time. When we got home we flung open the windows. As the day wore on though it got colder and colder. So eventually the windows were closed but it sure smelled nice as the house was airing out.
I still have plenty to do between now and Saturday evening, but I just keep doing one thing at a time. One of the things that was really bugging me was the disorganization in the kitchen. It looked awful to me. So that has been what I have been working on the last few days. I am decluttering and shifting stuff around. It's starting to look better.
Another thing was our homeschool bookshelf. With just a little reorganizing it looks like a whole new bookshelf. LOL
In a Bible study I am doing the author asked you to imagine who you would be if Jesus had not transformed your life. She did not mean from when you got saved, but from when He yanked you out of who you thought you were going to be and made you who He wanted you to be. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it really made sense to me.
I thought it was a neat exercise. It made me really grateful for who He has led me to be.
I will talk some more about that in my next post.
What did He "yank" you from? Who would you have been?

Be Blessed!

Bitter or Better?

As I have pondered over this last year I have had some thoughts about the trials and tribulations I have seen. As I told you before, there have been a few times I have just closed my Bible and walked away. But coming back has always been so refreshing. Repenting and basking in the mercy and grace of Jesus has been amazing. I realize that I am so much closer to God right now than I have ever been. I am trusting in Him so much more!

These trials and tribulations might have been for that very reason. They were probably put there to grow my faith. To make me a better Christian. I asked Jesus to help me understand grace more, and now I do.

The thing is though, I know a lot of people who have gone through a difficult year this year. Some worse than I have. I have seen people grow and I have seen them just give up.

The trials and tribulations we face in life bring us to a crossroads. We can choose to be better or bitter. Will we continue to follow Christ even though each step seems mired in mud and we can't see where we are going anymore? Or will we give up and decide that God does not care about us, if he even exists?

I watched last Sunday as a woman stood before our church repentant and broken. It was a true miracle. She was one of my hardships this year. Her marriage falling apart broke my heart. Her walking away and acting like she'd done nothing wrong made me insane. But God is faithful. He heard our cries for her and she stood up Sunday morning and asked for our forgiveness. She wept before us and warned us about the dangers or sin.

She was on the bitter path but then she detoured for the better path and I am so delighted.

I am on the better path. I admit to a time or two putting a foot onto the bitter path, but there was no joy there. It felt good for a season, but that's all sin will feel good for. A season. Then the consequences begin to pour in on top of you. God begins to pull you back towards him and it's a hard and desperate road.

Choose to be better through your trials and tribulations. Choose to trust in God and allow Him to grow you. In the end it will all be worth it!

Be Blessed!